LINKS TO PART 1. 2.

       Tiyospaye    

PART 2

Johnny was still grinning as he slipped out of the room to put their dinner into the oven. On his way back to Joanne’s room he peaked in on the kids. Jenny was happily watching cartoons while Chris lay sprawled out on the floor with a pile of Tinker toys in front of him.

“Supper’s in half an hour guys, okay?”

“Okay, Uncle Johnny,” they chorused.

“I’m going to go and help your mom get settled, so I want you two to just stay here until I call you.” This time he just got a nod from Jenny, and a smile from Chris.

Johnny made his way back to Joanne’s room and gave a quiet knock on the door.

“Come in,” she called out.

Johnny entered the room and found Joanne had wheeled her chair closer to the bed, where she was quietly reading a magazine. “Come with me,” Johnny said, pointing through the open door, into the hall.

“Where are we going?” Joanne asked.

“Back to school, you have a couple lessons to learn before supper,” Johnny answered.

Joanne, now thoroughly confused, carefully wheeled herself out the bedroom door. Once out in the hall, she found Johnny casually leaning against the wall waiting for her. She looked up questioningly at the dark haired man. “So, what now?” she asked.

“I want to see how you handle the bathroom … before you need it. I want to make sure that you are going to be able to handle this stuff on your own. First task, I want to see how your wheelchair is for height against the sink. Hospital sinks and toilets are set to accommodate such things as wheelchairs…home bathrooms generally are not.  I’m not going to help for this first try unless I have to … I want to see how you will handle it if I am not in the room.

Joanne, seeing the wisdom in what he was saying, dutifully wheeled her chair inside the bathroom and up to the sink. Thankfully the bathroom was a larger one that accommodated the wheelchair, although turning it around was still a tight fit. As soon as she wheeled up to the bathroom sink, the first issue became apparent. The bathroom sink was far too high to comfortably reach the faucets to wash or brush her teeth.

“Don’t worry about that,” Johnny reassured her. “I expected as much. We can work around that. What I really want to see is how you handle shifting to the toilet. I installed the support bar on the wall, and you should be able to use the bathroom vanity on the other side… It’s close enough that it should work fine for what we need. I figured we’d do a couple dry runs before the need actually arises,” he said sagely.

Joanne’s first thought was one of embarrassment, but the young man before her was not Uncle Johnny… her children’s favourite playmate; He was John Gage, trained first responder… with a bit of concerned brother tossed in for good measure.

Johnny patiently waited while Joanne got the chair into position. Once Joanne was in place, he came over and showed her how to hold onto the hand bar for leverage. After going through the instructions carefully of how to move her body over from the chair to the commode, he stepped back to watch her.

The first time she tried, she lost her balance and started to fall sideways, but before she could hit the wall, she felt Johnny’s hands grab her securely and steady her. The second time she managed to get over onto the toilet, albeit a bit haphazardly. But the third time was the charm as she figured how to shift her weight in time with her moving body. By the fifth and sixth time, she was handling it like an old pro.

Johnny finally stood back, satisfied that he wouldn’t have to worry about this issue any longer.

“Good job, Jo. Now, what would you like to do next, go back to your room and relax, join the kids in the living room, or watch me bungle my way around the kitchen trying to pretend I actually know what I’m doing?”

Joanne stopped to consider her options. She was more than thankful that Johnny had taken the time to show her how to cope in the bathroom. It had been something she had been secretly dreading all afternoon.  She was torn between the two. On one hand she felt like she should be in the kitchen, helping Johnny wherever she could. On the other hand, she had come so close to being killed, and never seeing her babies again, that she just wanted to be near them… holding them close.

She glanced up to see Johnny watching her face carefully. Joanne was shocked to see that he seemed to be reading her thoughts. Smiling, he reached over and patted her shoulder affectionately… “Go check on your cubs, momma bear. I’ll finish getting supper on the table.”

Before Joanne could utter another word, she felt her chair being wheeled out into the hall towards the living room. Within half an hour, Johnny was at the kitchen doorway telling everyone it was time for dinner.

Upon entering the kitchen, Joanne burst out laughing when she saw the table neatly set with paper plates.

Johnny shrugged dismissively. “Hey, it’s been a long day. I just figured anything I could do to lessen my workload today was good.”

It had been a simple explanation, but the implications of what Johnny had said hit Joanne like a ton of bricks. For the first time she stopped to consider what the past five days must have been like for Johnny. She wondered how come she hadn’t noticed before how tired he looked. Now that she thought about it, this past week must have been hard on the young man.

Getting that phone call about the accident must have shaken him badly… especially since he had already lost one family to a car accident. Not only had he had to worry about Roy and her, he also had been saddled with the task of looking after two small children, getting time off work…and then getting her and Roy home… So far all he had received for his efforts had been a boat load of worry, too little sleep and the angry words of her mother’s tirade that had attacked his motives for being there for his family.

It dawned on her for the first time just how much Johnny had sacrificed for them. The depth of how much he clearly loved them was a humbling realization. It also drove home how important it was for her to make sure Johnny knew that what her mother had said to him that afternoon wasn’t true.

She looked over fondly at the young man she considered her brother, who was now pushing Chris’s chair closer to the table.

“Paper plates are fine Johnny,” she said. “I just wished I had thought of it before. There have been plenty of days where it seems like the clock was against me… I’m going to remember this little trick,” she said warmly.

“I do it at home sometimes, too,” Johnny confessed. “Even on the days were I am not that busy. I tend to be the one who ends up doing the dishes at the station … most of time. I just like a break from it once in a while, so I get lazy,” he explained.

“Ah yes, the card games… well I’ll have you know, I am a pretty good card player... including poker. Maybe we’ll play some hands, and I’ll show you a few of my secrets,” she winked. “We can’t have you working on patients with dishpan hands.”

Johnny chuckled and pointed to the table. “I made a spot for you at the end of the table… I’ll bring the casserole over to the table in a minute.”

Joanne noticed that he had removed the end chair from the table, so her wheelchair would slide in neatly. Johnny scooped up Jenny and made sure she was sitting securely on her child’s booster seat before he walked over to the stove and put on the oven mitts. He carried over the hot pan of tuna casserole and set it on the trivet in the middle of the table, grabbed the milk pitcher and poured out four glasses of milk.

“I’ll make some coffee for after dinner, but healing bones need lots of calcium,” he explained as he set the full glass of milk in front of Joanne.

Joanne looked at his glass of milk. She knew he usually preferred to drink milk with his meals, but couldn’t resist the chance to tease her brother. “So is that why you drink so much milk? Stock-piling calcium for future fractures?”

“Ha-ha… I think I better take you back to Rampart so they can check you for a head injury, because now you’re starting to sound like Chet… and that just isn’t normal… for anyone.”

Joanne was still laughing as she wheeled herself up to the table and motioned for Johnny to sit down and serve up their meal. Once supper was over with, Johnny stood to clear the remnants of the meal off of the table.

Jenny walked up to the table with her Sleeping Beauty story book in her hands and stood between the two adults. “Can somebody read me my story book?”

“Well, I’m going to be busy with these dishes for a few moments… perhaps mommy would read it to you?” he said, glancing over at Joanne questioningly.

Joanne watched Johnny as he put the stopper in the kitchen sink and turned on the hot water. “Is Uncle Johnny sure he doesn’t need me in here to help with the dishes?” Joanne asked.

Johnny looked over and grinned as he opened up the lid of the garbage bin and tossed in a mound of paper plates along with the empty aluminum tray.

“Nope….there’s just these few glasses and the cutlery to wash up … and that won’t take more than five minutes. You go into the other room and read to your daughter… I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Turning to Chris, he pointed to the backpack that sat on the hook inside the kitchen door. “Chris, you need to get your notebook out. I promised Mrs. Thompson that we would go over your word list tonight. She says there are still one or two words you are having some problems with. As soon as I am finished here, I’ll be out to help you.”

By eight o’clock, Johnny had the house in order, Chris’s word list perfected and he had run a bath for the kids. Joanne was impressed by how efficiently Johnny had managed to get the kids organized and ready for bed. She was surprised to find herself thinking that someday, John Gage was going to make a wonderful husband and father.

Once both kids were clean and into their pyjamas, Johnny brought them back downstairs with two storybooks.

“I figured since you can’t get upstairs to tuck them in, we’d do story time down here where we can all take part. Do you want to do the honors or shall I? I know they’ve sure missed their mommy at bedtime this past week.”

After the kids were in bed and asleep, Johnny brought out the coffee and some pound cake that he had bought at the deli. Both adults sat watching the news, talking about inconsequential things…the subject of her mother was carefully avoided by Johnny. In fact all evening long, he had gone out of his way to dance over, under and skirt around the entire issue. Finally the ten o’clock news ended and Johnny stood up, stretched and announced that he thought it was time for them to get to bed … and still, they had not discussed what had happened between him and Priscilla.

Not wanting either one of them to go to bed without discussing the matter, Joanne simply decided to jump into the conversation with both feet, before she lost her nerve.

“You know, I never wanted to believe my mother’s dislike for Roy and his line of work ran so deep, but what she tried to do to Roy up in Monterrey, by leaving him behind… and then what she did to you today… well I just can’t deny it any longer.” Joanne paused to make sure Johnny was listening before she continued on.

“She was dead wrong, Johnny… none of what she said was true. I know that, Roy knows that…and I hope you know that, too.”

“Jo… you don’t have to do this. Let’s just forget about it, okay?” he almost pleaded.

Joanne pulled herself up straighter in her wheelchair and looked Johnny directly in the eyes with a defiant stare.

“No, I am not going to forget about it. I should have put a stop to her antics a long time ago. She has stepped over the line this time… way over, and I don’t want you getting the idea that anyone thinks any of what mother said was true.”

“Johnny, you’re a part of this family because we want you there. In fact truth be told, it was Roy and I that shanghaied you to be part of the Good Ship, DeSoto. And what’s more, we’ve benefitted because of it … the kids, myself and especially Roy… Johnny, he’d be lost without you. We love you, Johnny, and we want you to be part of our family… it’s where you belong now.”

Johnny smiled. “Well, I’d be kinda lost without you guys too.”

“You know, Johnny,” Joanne continued. “My mother’s issues with this family go back a long time before Roy even met you. I’m just sorry you got caught up in our mess.”

Johnny laughed bitterly. “Like I haven’t dragged you guys through all of my issues… I am the last person who can say anything about that.”

“Stop it, Johnny. We wanted to be there for you… just like you’re here for us now. You know Roy was furious when he found out what happened.”

Johnny looked up, wide eyed. “Aw, Jo, you shouldn’t have said anything about this to Roy…”

Joanne wheeled her chair until she was right in front of Johnny. “I most certainly should have… that mother of mine has done nothing but make this whole week more stressful on us than it needed to be. I have already informed her she cannot come into this house again, until she apologizes to both you and Roy. After what she did to Roy by trying to get me to leave him behind… and now this… well let’s just say, I’m not sure Roy can get past it, even if she does apologize.”

Johnny looked at Joanne, his face uncertain. “And if Roy can’t get past this, even if she does apologize… will you be okay with that? I mean it won’t affect your marriage, will it?” he asked worriedly.

“No, Roy has been more than patient and fair with my mother… she forced him to make this decision by her own actions. Mother forced me to make this choice…and she lost. If she does apologize, she will have to be satisfied with the children and I visiting her…and only if her attitude changes.”

Johnny blew out a deep breath and looked up at some invisible spot on the ceiling. He wasn’t sure his heart had completely accepted that what Joanne had said was true. After all, Priscilla had made some pretty damning accusations about him forcing himself onto the DeSoto family; but he was more than ready to end this conversation. He just wasn’t ready to examine it any deeper at that moment… he was just too damned tired.

He walked over and switched off the television and turned to face Joanne. “Well, now that we have got that out of the way, I think it’s time for bed, for both of us,” Johnny said.

He grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed Joanne into the bedroom. “Wait here,” he commanded before turning on his heels and heading back into the hall. He returned momentarily with a large basin of warm water and a towel over his arm. Setting them down on the dresser he returned to the bedroom with a second smaller basin and a glass of water. Once again he slipped out, this time returning with a TV tray, Joanne’s toothbrush and toothpaste, a bar of soap, along with a wash cloth. He brought over the TV tray and set it up in front of Joanne’s wheelchair.

“Here, there is no way you can manage at the bathroom sink…it’s just too high for this chair. Now you brush your teeth and I’ll go get your nightgown…which one do you want?” he asked going over to the bedroom closet and opening the doors.

“The pale blue one will be fine,” she answered.

Once she had finished her brushing her teeth, Johnny removed the smaller basin and glass. “You get yourself washed and get your nightgown on…then call me. I’ll bring you in a glass of juice and your pain meds. How is the pain level tonight?”

“My legs are throbbing a little, but it’s really not that bad. I’m sure I’d be fine without the pills.”

Johnny chuckled. “Now you sound like me… but you’ll rest a lot better if you are comfortable.” He set the nightgown down on the bed where Joanne could easily reach it and excused himself, closing the bedroom door behind him, giving Joanne the privacy she needed to get ready for bed.

By the time Joanne had called Johnny, she was glad he had insisted on her taking the medicine. All of the shifting and movement had increased her pain level.

Johnny removed the water and the towels, and stepped aside. “I’ll just wait here while you use the bathroom… just in case you run into any difficulties,” he said.

When Joanne returned to the bedroom, Johnny had switched on the bedside lamp and pulled back the covers. Joanne wheeled the chair over and sighed…she was hoping that transferring to the bed would not be too difficult.

The bathroom had the support bar in it, but the bed was soft and pliable. The last thing she wanted was to end up on the floor, giving Johnny a peep show.

“All done?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah, I’m ready for the night,” she answered.

Johnny fluffed up the pillows and turned toward her and indicated the wheelchair. ”Slide forward,” he commanded.

Not quite knowing to expect, Joanne complied. Before she knew what was happening, Johnny leaned over. “You just relax now, Jo, and let me do all the work okay?”  he said reassuringly as he scooped her up in his arms and set her gently onto the bed.

“We’ll work on getting in and out of bed by yourself tomorrow,” he informed her.

Once she was positioned neatly, Johnny tenderly covered her up. Joanne marveled at how gentle he was. He had heard both Roy and Dixie say how good he was with patients, but this was the first time she had seen him in action.

Johnny smiled at her as he stepped out of the room and returned with a brass cowbell in his hands. “I don’t want you trying to get in and out of bed without me until I am sure you can do it without hurting yourself…so I want you to use this to call me if you need me... even if it’s two in the morning and you just need to use the bathroom, okay?”

“Where in the world did you get that, Johnny?” Joanne asked pointing to the bell.

“Off a cow, where else?” he answered innocently. “Now, how about you scoot on down into that bed and get some sleep,” he said, leaning over and giving her a tender kiss on the top of her head. “Unless you would like a bedtime story, too?” he teased.

“Brat,” Joanne laughed. “I’m fine…now how about you take your own advice and go to bed. Like you said earlier, it’s been a long day for all of us.”

Johnny chuckled softly as he walked over to the wall and switched off the light. “Night Jo, sleep well,” he said softly as he walked out the door, leaving it slightly ajar so he would be able to hear Joanne if she needed him through the night.

  ~ ~ ~

Johnny woke up the next morning bright and early. He made his way into the kitchen, got the coffee started and slipped off for a quick shower.

By the time he emerged from the bathroom, he could hear Chris moving about in his bedroom. He gave a single rap on the boy’s door before opening it up and peering inside. Johnny smiled as he watched the mini-version of his partner struggling to button up his shirt.

“Morning, kiddo, I see you’ve picked out your clothes for school already?” Johnny said.

“Yeah, I want to wear my green shirt. Tony, Jimmy and I are all going to wear green shirts today. We formed a club and we made a pact to wear the same colour shirts to school,” the child explained.

“Ah,” Johnny nodded knowingly. “Well, if you made a pact, then I guess you have to wear green today, but Chris?” Johnny said. “You’ve got your shirt buttoned up crooked.”

Johnny watched as the child corrected his mistake, smoothed down the shirt tails and looked up at his Uncle for his approval.

“That’s better,” Johnny said. “Now, you finish getting dressed and brush your teeth, while I get your sister up and check on your mom. Since I woke up early, we’re having pancakes for breakfast today.”

Johnny left Chris to finish getting dressed and walked down the hall to get Jenny up and going. He found the little girl curled up in a ball, sound asleep, her thumb in her mouth. Bypassing the sleeping child in the bed, Johnny walked over to her dresser and opened it. He had learned the hard way the week before that Jenny was currently on a pink and purple kick. Any clothing she put on lately had to be either pink or purple.

The weather had been unseasonably warm lately, so Johnny grabbed a pair of deep purple shorts and a mauve T shirt that had a picture of big bird on the front. He selected a pair of pink Tinker bell panties and Jenny’s favourite sandals.

Once he had the clothing picked out he walked over to the bed and gently shook the child awake. Jenny was, by nature, a happy go lucky child who usually woke up with a smile on her face. As long as you didn’t upset the status quo too much, she was an easy child to look after. Today was no exception; the little girl sat up, rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked up at her favourite Uncle.

“Morning, Uncle Johnny,” she sang out. She glanced at the clothing he’d set on the bottom of the bed and grinned. “Purple! You remembered,” she exclaimed happily.

“Of course I did,” Johnny grinned. “Now you get your clothes on and then come over to the bathroom and brush your teeth… okay?”

“Okay, Uncle Johnny,” Jenny replied, already pulling her pyjama top over her head.

Johnny slipped out of the room while Jenny got dressed. He’d just nicely stepped into the hall when he ran into Chris coming out of the bathroom.

“Woah there, sport… slow down a bit,” he cautioned.

“All done, Uncle Johnny… even my teeth,” Chris said, flashing a wide smile to show his Uncle that he had indeed brushed his teeth.

“Good job. How about you go pack your book bag for school, and make sure you leave it on the counter so I can put your lunch inside before you go.”

Johnny stepped into the bathroom and pushed the plastic stool up to the sink before he put the correct amount of toothpaste on Jenny’s toothbrush. He then took a face cloth and wet it with warm water. He sensed Jenny’s presence behind him before he actually saw her. He side stepped out of the way so she could step up to the sink.

While the little girl brushed her teeth, Johnny took the hairbrush and brushed out the tangles in her hair. When she finished brushing her teeth, he handed her the warm cloth to wash her face with.

“Uncle Johnny, I couldn’t do up the buckles on my sandals… can you please help me?”

“I sure can, button,” he said as he stooped down and set her on the stool.  He picked up the sandals Jenny had dropped onto the floor when she had first come into the room and slipped them on her feet, buckling them snuggly.

“You know, Jenny, I just bet your mommy would love for you to wake her up this morning with one of your special get well kisses. You know the special ones you give to me when I’m hurt,” he said with a sly wink.

Jenny’s face broke into a wide grin, nodding her head furiously in agreement.

Johnny smiled, grabbing Jenny’s small hand in his. “Okay then, let’s go wake mommy up for breakfast.”

Rather than getting up and dressed right away, Joanne had opted to eat breakfast in her night clothes and bathrobe. She figured it would be much easier on Johnny, if she waited until he had Chris off to school, and breakfast out of the way before he had to stop and help her.

Thirty five minutes later saw Johnny wiping maple syrup off sticky fingers, while Joanne sat sipping her coffee. He was just about to pack Chris’s lunch in his bag when the doorbell rang. Johnny stuffed Chris’s lunch into his bag and zipped it up as he carried it in his hands while he walked to the front door. Upon opening up the door, he was met by a petite auburn haired woman and a small dark haired boy who appeared to be about Chris’s age.

“Hi, I’m Krista Brewster, and this is my son, Tony,” the woman said extending her hand. “My husband Chad and I are friends of Joanne and Roy, and Tony and Chris are in the same class at school. I heard about their accident, and I was wondering how Joanne and Roy are doing?”

Johnny was about to answer, when Joanne’s voice came from behind him.

“Krista. How lovely to see you. Please, come on in,” Joanne said happily.

Krista faltered and looked uncertain. “Well, actually Joanne, I was just on my way to the bus stop with Tony, the school bus will be there in about ten minutes. Since your place was on the way, I just thought I’d stop by and ask how you were doing?”

Chris came bounding out from behind Johnny’s legs, grabbing his school bag out of his hand, as he wiggled out the front door. “Hey Tony, you remembered to wear a green shirt too… Uncle Johnny, can Tony and his mom walk with us to the bus stop?”

Johnny looked back and forth between Krista and Joanne. “I guess that would be okay with me, if it would be okay with Mrs. Brewster… just let me get Jenny.”

Joanne wheeled her chair until she was at the front door. “Maybe Johnny would walk the boys to the bus stop, and we girls can have a bit of a chat for a few minutes?” Joanne suggested hopefully. “Jenny could just stay here with us and visit with us girls.” she added.

“That would be fine by me… if you don’t mind?” Krista replied looking at Johnny.

Johnny shrugged his shoulders. “Sure, that’s fine by me… it’ll just be us guys then,” he said winking at the two six year olds.

“Yeah, guys only… just like our club,” Chris said happily.

Johnny left the women to visit and chat, while he enjoyed the walk in the warm morning air. He smiled to himself as he walked along the sidewalk listening to the two boys discuss what other rules they should have for their club.

By the time he returned home, Krista had the breakfast dishes washed and put away, and she and Joanne were busy in her bedroom.

“I’m back,” he called out, by way of announcing he was in the home. He didn’t want to walk in on the two women, if Krista was helping Joanne with anything personal.

“We’re in my room, Johnny. Come on in, we’re decent,” Joanne called back.

Johnny entered the room to find the two women, going over several different dresses in the closet.

“There you are,” Joanne exclaimed happily when she looked up and saw him standing in the doorway. “Krista has a wonderful idea. She has the morning free, so she suggested that she hang around here with me until noon, that way you can have a few hours away from here to yourself. You could grab some coffee, maybe one of those cheese danish’s Roy loves and spend some time with him this morning. Heaven knows, you deserve a break away from all of this. Jenny will be fine with us.”

Johnny mulled the idea over in his head for a minute and then smiled. “Well, I guess I could swing by my place and pick up a couple things I forgot…maybe collect my mail from the neighbour who is keeping an eye on my apartment for me. Then I could swing by Rampart about ten. I’m sure I can sweet talk Dixie into sneaking me into Roy’s room. Cap said he and Mike were going to visit this afternoon, and Marco says he and Chet will swing by tonight.”

“Perfect, then it’s all settled. Krista and I can have a good old fashioned girl visit…maybe do our nails and catch up on all the gossip, while you take a breather,” Joanne declared.

Johnny looked down at his watch; it was only eight forty two. He had plenty of time to go the deli before he went to Rampart. Afterwards he could slip home and pick up a few extra shirts, a book or two, and go through his mail… besides, he had forgotten to get rid of the milk in his fridge… it was probably cottage cheese by now.

“Well, if you’re sure about this… then yeah, I think I will just go visit Roy for a while, and then swing by my apartment… thanks.” He leaned down and gave Joanne a peck on the cheek, before grabbing Jenny and swinging her into the air. “And you … little miss. You make sure these two wild women don’t have any crazy parties while I’m gone.”

Jenny giggled, while Joanne swatted Johnny playfully on his butt. “Get out of here, brat, before we change our minds and make you watch us do our nails and set our hair.”

Johnny held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’m going. I’ll see you at noon,” he promised before turning on his heels and leaving the room.

                                                ~                         ~                              ~

There was very little to show the casual passer-by, that the young man standing outside room 411 was fighting a losing battle with his nerves. By all outward appearances, he looked like every other run of the mill visitor who was coming to see a sick friend.

In one hand he held a tray bearing two cups of what one would assume to be coffee. In the other he had a large paper sack full of pastries from the deli. But if those observers could have felt the emotions John Gage was currently feeling, they would have understood the overwhelming sense of apprehension…almost to the point of dread … Johnny was experiencing as he prepared to enter Roy’s hospital room.

It was an unusual and, if he was being honest with himself, unreasonable feeling of trepidation. After all, this was Roy… his best amigo… his big brother that he was visiting.  But deep inside, he had a pretty good idea why Jo had been so insistent that he come see Roy this morning. He knew Joanne had told Roy about his little run-in with Priscilla Hirsch, and he also knew that Joanne had called Roy from the extension in the spare room after she had gone to bed. He had a sinking feeling that he had been the main topic of conversation… and that same sinking feeling told him what direction his and Roy’s conversation would eventually head in… and he simply wasn’t ready to have that talk with Roy… not yet.

He was still struggling with the issue of being a part of the DeSoto family. In his heart of hearts, he did consider the DeSotos his family… his only family.  But on a certain level, deep inside his soul, there were times when Johnny still felt like an interloper, like he had forced his way into Roy’s life, and that he and Joanne were just too polite to push him away.

Years of being told he was never going to be wanted by anyone had left hidden scars on his psyche that still plagued his thoughts from time to time, especially during those long hours when he suffered from insomnia. In those wee hours of the morning the mind could play funny tricks on you, bringing forth old fears and insecurities that the conscious mind pushed away during the day. When Roy had first told Johnny he that he had considered him his brother, he’d had a hard time believing it… on some levels he still didn’t. The idea of him ever being part of a family again felt akin to his reaching for the stars.

Priscilla’s little diatribe yesterday afternoon had only confirmed his deepest fears; that the only reason he was a part of the family was because he had forced himself upon them. It had also reinforced what, deep down he had always known… that stars were never meant to be touched… only appreciated and admired from a distance, and that him ever really being a part of the DeSoto family was nothing more than wishful thinking on his part… a pipe dream.

Johnny took a deep, steadying breath and quietly pushed open the door and slipped inside Roy’s room.

Roy’s face lit up like a Christmas tree the moment he entered the room. “Hey, Junior. Joanne phoned me about half an hour ago and said to expect a visit from you.”

“She did, huh?” Johnny said warily. Somehow he suspected that his name had come up quite a lot in the conversation.

“Here,” he said setting the coffee and the bag full of pastries on the table that currently held a pitcher of ice water and a plastic cup. “I brought you some real coffee…not that sludge they serve in this place. I even snuck in some pastries. There’s a cheese danish for you, and an apple fritter for me. There is also a cinnamon bun in there for you to stash away for a bedtime snack… I know how much you like to snack before bed.”

Roy folded up the newspaper he had been re-reading, set it on the nightstand, reached into the bag and snatched up his treat with his uninjured limb. “Thanks, Junior, you’re a life saver. The rubber eggs and sawdust toast they served me for breakfast this morning didn’t do much to fill me up,” he said as he bit down into his cheese danish with a smile.

Johnny picked up his coffee and sat down in the chair beside his injured friend. He was pleased to note that Roy looked much better this morning. His face was no longer pinched with pain, and his eyes looked clear and bright.

“You look a lot better today, Pally,” Johnny said as he munched down on his apple fritter.

“Feeling better, too. In fact Brackett said this morning that he’s going to let me out of here day after tomorrow,” Roy replied.

Johnny nodded his head in approval. “That’s great news, Pally. It’ll be nice to have you back where you belong… the kids sure miss you.” Johnny paused.

“You’ll be glad to get back into your own bed, beside your wife again, too.”

Johnny was hoping he could keep Roy distracted with small talk long enough to make him forget about the ‘talk’ that he knew was the real purpose for this visit. He cast a furtive glance over at the man in the bed, and hoped Roy hadn’t noticed the tension is his voice. He was relieved to see that he hadn’t noticed… or if he had, he’d decided to let it slide.

Roy, his mouth full of danish, simply nodded with a smile. Unbeknownst to Johnny, Roy had indeed detected the uncertain edge in Johnny’s voice. There was a prolonged moment of silence in the room while the two men swallowed what was in their mouths.

Roy took a sidelong glance at Johnny and decided that now was as good as a time as any to clear the air about what had happened between Priscilla and Johnny.

“Johnny?” he ventured. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened in Joanne’s hospital room yesterday, between you and her mother.”

Johnny sighed heavily and set the rest of his pastry on the empty bag. “Jo shouldn’t have told you about that. You just need to concentrate on getting better,” he said dejectedly.

“Well I’m glad she did tell me, because I would have been upset if she hadn’t.” Roy took a sip of his coffee and shifted himself in his bed. “Johnny, she had no right to say those things to you. She’s just a mean spiteful old shrew. She’s worn out her welcome with Jo and I and she was just looking for someone else to blame it on… the garrulous old crow,” he said disdainfully. “You know, I’d never ever hit a woman…but if ever I was tempted, she would be the one I’d like to deck. Don’t pay any attention to anything she says, Junior, okay?”

Johnny did not reply right away. He crossed the room and stood, shoulders hunched, as he stared out the window at the traffic speeding along the highway. The silence in the room went on for such a long time, that it was Roy who broke it himself.

“What’s going on in that mind of yours, John?” Roy asked softly.

Johnny did not speak as he made his way over to the bed and sat down heavily on its edge. His face held a misleadingly blank expression as he sat staring intently at his shoes.

“I’ll tell ya, Roy,” he said quietly. “When I found out what she tried to do to you, by bringing Joanne back without you… well, I wanted to strangle her. And when I first saw her, I wanted to yell at her, but I couldn’t ya know… I mean she is Jo’s mother.  But when I walked into Jo’s room and we were alone… well … I just wasn’t prepared for her to say the things she said. It had been a stressful few days, and she kinda caught me off guard. I was actually prepared for her to go after you, and I was going to let her have it for what she had tried to do to you… But then she went up on her hind legs to me, and I didn’t quite know what to say. Besides, some of what she said hit pretty close to home,” Johnny’s voice trailed off.

“You can be angry about what she tried to do to me, Junior, but get mad for yourself, too… she was way off base with what she said to you,” Roy interjected.

Johnny looked into his best friend’s eyes, his own full of sadness and uncertainty. “Not to put too fine of point on it, Roy, but she does have a valid point… I mean, there is some truth to what she said about me pushing my way into your family,” Johnny finished, his eyes shifting away from Roy’s and onto his hands that were now folded in his lap.

“Like hell there is,” Roy practically yelled. “Look, Junior, most of her anger has very little to do with you. You were just a convenient scape goat, for her. That witch has been at ‘daggers drawn’ with me ever since I eloped with her daughter. Charles Hirsch is Joanne’s stepfather. Her real dad died when she was fifteen. Priscilla met Charles Hirsch a year later and they were married six months after that. Priscilla wasn’t even in love with the man… what she was in love with was his bank account.

“He is a card carrying member of the heavy wallet brigade and Priscilla saw her chance to move up on the social ladder.  After they were married, Charles offered to send both Joanne and Elaine to Cambridge University in England.

Apparently he was good friends with the Dean of the University.  Elaine jumped at the chance and she not only went to University at Cambridge, but she also went on to go to Grad school at Oxford. But Joanne just wasn’t interested in going so far away from home to study. Instead she registered right here in California at USC. Her mother was so angry that she refused to pay Jo’s tuition to USC and told her she would be kicked out of the house unless she went with Elaine to England. When Joanne told me what she said, I was so mad that we decided to run away and get married, and move into our own apartment. It was that decision her mother has never forgiven me for."

"So, you see, it’s me her mother hates… she blames me for ruining her daughter’s chance to study abroad, and hopefully find herself a rich young man to marry. This really has nothing to do with you at all."

“As for you and your so called “forcing yourself into our family”… That’s a clear cut case of ‘Offer and Acceptance,’ Junior. Our being a family is something we all wanted. Do you think I’m so spineless that I would let anyone, you included, become part of my family if it wasn’t what I wanted, too? Not a chance, John.”

Roy leaned forward as far as his injuries allowed and nudged Johnny with his good hand.

“Look at me, John,” Roy said. He waited until Johnny lifted his eyes to meet his. “Did it ever occur to you,  Junior,  that even  if you had been pushing your way into my front door, that I was standing on the other side of that door grabbing you by the hand and pulling you inside just as fiercely? You are a part of our family now, Johnny… and a damn important part too.”

Roy reached out and grabbed Johnny’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “No more doubts okay?”

“Okay,” Johnny finally said, squeezing Roy’s hand back. “I’ll try.”

“Good boy,” Roy said.

Johnny stayed and visited with Roy until just after eleven, when the nurse came in and announced it was time for Roy’s bath, and ordered Johnny out of the room.

On his way back to the DeSoto home, Johnny stopped off at his apartment, picked up his mail from his neighbour and grabbed some more clothes and a couple of books he wanted to read.

The women had lunch waiting when he arrived. Krista had helped Joanne wash her hair at the sink, and Jenny couldn’t wait to show Uncle Johnny her pretty pink fingernails.

By one o’clock Jenny was down for her nap and Johnny was going through the cupboards looking for something to make for supper.

“How about spaghetti and a salad, Johnny?  I can talk you through Mike Stoker’s spaghetti sauce recipe if you like?”

Johnny groaned at the mention of Mike’s spaghetti sauce. That recipe had not only been the cause of a fight between Roy and Joanne, but it had been the catalyst for Roy’s getting angry at Johnny, and Johnny ending up with hurt feelings. The end result had been Joanne discovering how good the spaghetti sauce was, Johnny ending up with two broken arms, and Roy ending up with a boat load of guilt.

Joanne looked up and immediately knew what he was thinking. “Hey, after all the trouble we went through because of that sauce, it would be a shame not to use it.”

Johnny chuckled and grabbed for an apron. “Okay, Mike Stoker’s spaghetti it is.”

Johnny worked away in the kitchen for the next couple of hours, while Joanne coached him.

“You’re a quick learner, Johnny… before these casts come off, you’re going to be the best cook at 51’s,” Joanne teased.

Johnny was secretly pleased with himself. He had shocked himself with how well he had done. He discovered the biggest hurdle was not getting intimidated by the thought of cooking complex recipes. In fact, maybe tomorrow he’d get Joanne to talk him through making an apple pie from scratch.

He had just finished cutting up the tomato for the chef’s salad, when he heard Joanne rifling through the cutlery drawer muttering to herself. “What’s the matter, Jo?” he asked taking a drink from the soda he’d opened up while he chopped vegetables.

“I can’t seem to find my salad tongs anywhere… you haven’t seen them have you, Johnny?”

Johnny did a spit take, spraying soda all over the counter, and started to choke on the soda that had got caught in his throat.

Damn, he’d forgotten to pick up some new salad tongs that morning. There was absolutely no way he was going to tell Joanne what really happened to the tongs… so not going there, he thought.

“My goodness, Johnny,” Joanne exclaimed. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Johnny managed to sputter out. “My soda, just went down the wrong pipe,” he lied.

                                    ~                                 ~                                      ~

By the time the day of Roy’s release from Rampart rolled around, Joanne was maneuvering herself around the first floor of her home with relative ease. She had mastered the knack of getting herself in and out of bed, and she no longer banged into doorways and furniture with her wheelchair.

For Johnny’s part, he had not only mastered the art of making apple pie, but he had also added chicken pot pie, beef stroganoff, and homemade macaroni and cheese casserole to his repertoire of culinary delights, all thanks to Joanne’s patient tutelage… with the promise of also learning to cook Joanne’s chicken and rice, baked pork chops and her peach cobbler. By the time Johnny returned to Station 51, his days of hotdogs, hamburgers and ordering in pizza would be a thing of the past.

There was an air of excitement in the house over the fact that in a few short hours, the entire family would be safely together under the same roof once more. Mrs. Harrison had volunteered to come over and sit with Joanne and the kids while Johnny went to pick up Roy at three thirty.  He was just about to leave for the hospital when Chris came up to him and tugged on his sleeve.

Johnny looked down at Chris, his eyebrow quirked up questioningly. “What is it, sport?”

“Uncle Johnny, could I come with you to go get dad? I could help you bring him home. Remember how I carried mom’s bag for you when you went to get her? I could do that again with dad’s bag. Please say I can come with you… pretty please?” the boy pleaded.

Johnny knew how much Chris had missed his father’s presence in the home this past week and he just didn’t have the heart to refuse his request. “Alright, champ. Just let me tell your mom and Mrs. Harrison that you’re coming with me and then we’ll be off.”

During the drive over to Rampart, Johnny carefully explained to Chris about his father’s broken wrist, ribs and collarbone, and how his dad would need to sit in the back seat where they could set him in amongst the pillows Johnny had tossed into the back seat before they left the house.

Johnny arrived at the hospital in good time and he parked his Rover in the pick-up and drop-off zone outside the main entrance.

As he and Chris made their way toward the main desk, Johnny stopped in his tracks, mouth agape, completely thunderstruck, when he heard a familiar voice drifting down the corridor. It was not only a voice he knew very well… it was also a voice he loathed.  As he neared the desk, he recognized the owner of the shrill, condescending voice as she stood in the hall berating Carol.

Well, this time he was prepared… and this time he was bloody well going to have his say.

Suddenly, he felt Chris’s hand pull out of his. “Grandma… Grandpa,” the young boy called out as he ran up to Priscilla and Charles Hirsch.

The woman spun around on her heels and smiled at her only grandson.

“Christopher,” she cooed, as she stooped over to give the boy a hug. Her eyes slowly traveled upward until she was looking into Johnny’s face. “Mr. Gage,” she said coldly, plastering on a smarmy, disingenuous smile.

Johnny was about to ask her what she was doing at Rampart, when he noticed Roy’s watch in her hand. It was the watch that had once belonged to Roy’s grandfather. Johnny also knew that it was one of Roy’s most valued possessions.

It was at that point that Dixie came out of the Doctor’s lounge and walked up behind the group.  “Carol, it’s time for your break, I’ll take over here now,” she told the browbeaten nurse. Dixie then turned to the irate woman looking at Johnny. “Is there a problem here?” she asked. She couldn’t help but notice the obvious tension between Johnny and the older couple.

“What are you doing with Roy’s watch?” Johnny demanded, ignoring Dixie’s question. His voice was hard and cold.

Priscilla turned and with an indignant huff, she pointed toward Carol. “Well, as I was saying to this nurse,” she said the word nurse as if it were some kind of dirty word. “Apparently the hospital up in Monterrey, mixed up Roy’s watch with David’s when they were bagging up the personal affects the night they were all brought in.  As if David would ever be caught dead wearing something this cheap,” she scoffed holding out Roy’s watch disdainfully.

Johnny looked at the couple sharply, but did not speak.  He threw a pointed glance in Carol’s direction, and as soon as their eyes connected, Johnny shifted his glance towards Chris. Carol understood at once and gave her head a subtle nod.

“Chris, I’d like you to go with Nurse Carol to the cafeteria and wait for me there.” He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his wallet. He handed Carol a five dollar bill. “Here’s some money so you can get yourself a glass of milk and some pie. If I don’t get to the cafeteria by the time you are finished, then perhaps Nurse Carol could get someone to wait with you in the lounge… I’ll pick you up there.”

“Aren’t you coming with us, Uncle Johnny?” Chris asked.

Johnny smiled at the boy as he shook his head. “Not right now, kiddo, I need to talk to your grandma and grandpa for a few minutes… then I’m going to see how much longer it’s going to be before Dr. Brackett signs your dad’s release papers.”

“Okay,” Chris agreed happily.

Johnny shot Carol a silent look of thanks and waited until she and Chris were on the elevators before he spun around to face the Hirschs. He reached forward and snatched Roy’s watch out of Priscilla’s hands. “I’ll take this up to Roy,” he snarled. “Dix, would you please have whatever nurse is on duty on Roy’s floor to retrieve David’s watch from his things and bring it down here? Is it okay if we wait in the Doctor’s lounge until then?”

Dixie didn’t understand fully what was going on, but she did know whatever they were about to discuss, was probably best done out of sight of the very public waiting room.

“Sure, Johnny, it’s empty right now anyway.”

Johnny nodded his thanks, and motioned with his hand for Priscilla and Charles to follow him into the lounge.

He was barely inside the room, before Priscilla started in once more on how disgraceful she thought it was that her own daughter had chosen Johnny over her and Charles to look after the children while Joanne was laid up.

Johnny could feel his anger building. He was long past having any tolerance for this woman… even if she was Joanne’s mother. He turned around and pointed an accusing finger in the woman’s face.

“It’s all about status…and status symbols with you isn’t it, Mrs. Hirsch?” he said angrily. “You’ve spent your entire life trying to keep up to the ‘Jones.’ Do you want to know what I think? … I think you’re a foolish, petty, ungrateful old woman.Even as angry as I am at you… and believe me I am angry … I feel more pity for you than I do anger. Before you get the wrong idea, I want to assure you that my anger does not stem from how you treated me the other day…you don’t actually mean anything to me.  But what I am angry about is the way you treat Roy, especially in front of his wife and kids. I’ll have you know that he’s worth ten of your Charles. He’s a man of honor and great worth… oh maybe not monetarily, but in all the ways that really matter."

"Roy DeSoto has saved more lives than I can keep count of and he’s helped people, regardless of race, social status or their beliefs. He has met them at their most vulnerable and comforted them, helped them and given them his very best without question. He’d even give you and Charles his level best if you were ever in an accident and needed his help, despite the disgraceful way you treat him…we both would. And it’s because he’s that kind of man that there will be more people on the face of this earth who will remember Roy DeSoto, and what a great man he is, twenty years from now than there will be that ever remember either of you. You should get down on your knees and thank God that Joanne has been blessed with such a wonderful man for a husband."

“Thank God she picked a better life partner than you did. Roy’s a loving husband and an amazing father to your grandchildren.How can you not ‘get it?’  Why can’t you see that as wealthy as you strive to be… it’s all hollow and shallow? There is no depth of feeling or any real meaning to anything in your perfect little world. Do you want to know why I pity the two of you? It’s because you can never be truly happy or free… not when you spend all your time obsessing about status, and who has what… and how you need to get one, too just so you can keep up with the clique."

“You have a beautiful mansion, luxury cars, diamonds and furs, but none of it has any real value…it’s all meaningless. It’s cold, hard and devoid of any real warmth or affection. Those things are nothing more that piles of inanimate objects…they’re dead. And the real tragedy in all of this is that one day, you are going to look around and realize that it all meant nothing. You will suddenly realize the bare truth… that you are old and alone and that you have alienated everyone around you that might have really cared about you… might have really loved you if you hadn’t pushed them away with your arrogance and condescending attitudes towards them. You will have given away everything that really matters, squandered all of life’s real possessions for worthless material objects. One day you will be lying on your death bed scared and ill…and who will be there to hold your hand then? Your diamonds, your furs, your Bentley?"

“You know that David and Elaine can’t have children right? Then you should also realize that Chris and Jenny are going to be your only grandchildren. Don’t you see what you are sacrificing by pushing their parents out of your life? You are losing precious years and precious memories… birthdays, Christmases, school plays, first words, first steps. You’ve already missed so much….so much time in their lives that you can’t get back. Christopher is already six, Jenny is three, and you don’t really know them do you? You see them maybe six or seven days a year...that’s nothing. Believe me, Mrs. Hirsch. I understand better than anyone what the tragedy of loss feels like. My parents missed out on so much of that too, only for a different reason, and consequently I lost it too. It’s forever lost to me."

“Childhood is the one thing you can’t regain once you lose it. There are no do-overs to childhood. You are throwing away the joy of experiencing your own grandchildren’s childhood.”

Priscilla took a step forward, and for one brief second, Johnny was sure she was about to slap him across his face.

 “Shut up,” she spat out acidly, “I don’t need to be preached to regarding my own family from the likes of you.”

Johnny laughed bitterly. “You don’t even know your own family… you have arbitrarily decided that Roy in not good enough, rich enough, refined enough for you, without even taking to opportunity to get to know him… just because he doesn’t pull down six figures a year."

“You are throwing away the chance to be part of your grandchildrens’ lives, just so you can publicly live up to some pompous, pretentious image that is devoid of any real feelings other than avarice and greed? You’d rather worship the imaginary God of money and prestige, than thank the one true God for the wonderful son-in-law He blessed your family with. Roy is a great guy and if you had only given him a chance, you would have discovered that. Instead you have forced your daughter to choose between her parents and her husband.

“You have said some pretty awful things to him and Jo… things that you can never take back. You throw a stone in the pond, no matter how deep the water is and there are going to be ripples, and those ripples will spread and grow larger, affecting everything in the pond. It will have long and far reaching consequences. Your grandchildren and daughter love Roy, and as they get older Chris and Jenny will pick up on your attitude and they won’t thank you for it.”

Johnny looked to see if any of what he had said was sinking in. The silence in the room deepened but Johnny stood his ground, standing ram-rod straight, his eyes fixed and unwavering… not giving an inch.

It was at that point that Dixie walked into the lounge with a small bag that contained David’s watch and held it out to Charles.

“Roy’s release papers are signed. He’s dressed and ready to go. I’ll have a wheelchair waiting for you at the desk, whenever you’re finished here.”

Charles reached over, took the bag from Dixie and stared down silently at it.

“Thanks, Dix,” Johnny said. “I’m finished in here…I’ll be out in a minute.” Dixie nodded and slipped out of the room as silently as she’d entered.

Inside the lounge, no one said a word. Johnny was just about to leave when he heard Charles Hirsch heave a sigh. “He’s right,” he said quietly.

Priscilla turned and looked at her husband in amazement. “Surely you don’t agree with him,” she sputtered incredulously.

Charles looked over at his wife sadly. “Then how come your daughter didn’t feel comfortable letting us take care of your only grandchildren?” he asked her.

After another brief period of continued tense silence, Charles took Priscilla by the arm and pushed her towards the door. She pulled her arm angrily from her husband’s grasp and stormed out of the room without uttering another word.

Johnny threw his hands up in disgust. Priscilla and Charles Hirsch were no longer of any concern to him. He’d said his piece, and the woman would either listen to what he’d said, or she’d lose out on her grandchildrens’ lives. Either way he was done with her. He pushed the door of the lounge open and went out into the hall to fetch Roy’s wheelchair… up in room 411 his big brother was waiting for him.

Johnny pushed the wheelchair into Roy’s room with a happy shout, “I hear there’s someone in here that’s anxious to get going?”

“Hey, Junior, It’s about time you showed up… I was just about to call out the National Guard to search for you,” Roy teased good naturedly.

Roy was seated in the chair, fully dressed. His bag was on the bed lying open.

Johnny helped Roy slowly stand up, and then carefully eased him into the waiting wheelchair, before surveying the room.

“So, you got everything packed?” Johnny asked.

“Everything but my shaving gear in the bathroom, I told the nurse you’d pack it when you got here,” Roy explained.

“Good deal,” Johnny called back over his shoulder as he made his way into the bathroom.

He came back out a minute later with the shaving kit in his hand and walked over to the open bag on the bed.

Roy watched as Johnny pulled out a few items from his bag and began re-packing them in order to make room for Roy’s shaving kit.

“The nurse came up, and said Jo’s folks were downstairs demanding David’s watch back from me,” Roy said casually. “I didn’t even realize there had been a mix up.” He paused and waited for Johnny to say something. When it became apparent that no answer was going to be forthcoming, he went on. “The nurse told me that you had my watch and would bring it up when you came.”

Johnny nodded as he stopped packing for a moment while he reached into his pocket and withdrew Roy’s watch. “There you go,” he said pleasantly as he handed over the watch to Roy.

Roy shot Johnny a grateful glance and shifted his eyes down to the watch in his hands. Johnny paused his packing and watched Roy’s face for a moment before he spoke.

“Cruella was worried that David might not get his precious Rolex back… but I took care of it for you, Pally,” Johnny said.

“I take it you had words?” Roy cautiously asked.

Johnny paused in his packing and looked up with a mildly amused expression on his face. “One or two,” he answered evasively.

“You okay?” Roy asked worriedly.

“Never better,” Johnny answered truthfully, as he shut the bag and zipped it close. “Let’s go collect your son and head home… there is an anxious three year old waiting to see you… not to mention your wife.”

“Home, James,” Roy laughed, as he settled back into the wheelchair.

Johnny set Roy’s bag on his lap and pushed his brother out into the hall.

                                      ~                                  ~                                    ~

That evening, the DeSoto home was full of the sounds of laughter as the family reveled in just having everyone home again and on the road to recovery.

Several times throughout the evening, both Roy and Joanne watched as Johnny patiently and lovingly handled the children, dealing with any minor disputes that cropped up, washing sticky fingers, kissing boo-boos or helping Chris with his homework. It pleased them both to notice how both Chris and Jenny felt comfortable coming to their Uncle Johnny with their problems. Even better, was how they fully accepted their Uncle’s authority when he laid down the law.

Just like Joanne had discovered several days earlier, Roy found himself on the receiving end of Johnny’s gentle care and concern. It was while he was making these observations that Roy had an epiphany of sorts.

He made up his mind that, as soon as he and Joanne were in bed that night, they needed to have a long talk. The recent events, and his and Joanne’s near miss, had driven home to both of them just exactly how many loose ends they would have left behind if they had died. Watching Johnny tonight, he had finally come up with a solution for one of their most pressing issues… namely … what would become of his children if anything ever happened to him and Jo?

That night in bed, Roy and Jo came to the same conclusion.

In the event of their untimely deaths, there was no way in Hell they wanted the Hirschs to raise their two children. Chris and Jenny would end up being spoiled, arrogant and filled with an over-endowed sense of entitlement with zero empathy for their fellow man.

Roy’s mother was too old, and he had no siblings. Joanne had her sister Elaine, but there were a variety of reasons why she and David would not be a suitable choice either.

Elaine had always been much closer to her mother than Joanne had, although Elaine did not share her mother’s dislike for Roy, Johnny or Joanne’s lifestyle.

As far as Elaine had been concerned, if being the wife of a fireman made Joanne happy, then that was fine with her. She had always like both Roy and Johnny, and even though it wasn’t a life she would want, she didn’t look down on Joanne because of it.

David was a prominent doctor in Los Angeles and was the personal physician to several famous clients. Elaine was an investment broker with a big company. That was how she and David had met… he had come to her firm for some investment advice and the attraction had been instantaneous.

Still, Elaine made no bones about the fact that she enjoyed the finer things in life. She and David lived in a large stately home in one of the more affluent neighbourhoods in Los Angeles. She had a maid, a cook and a groundskeeper.

They had never hidden the fact that children did not fit into their plans or their lifestyle of lavish dinner parties and exotic vacations for two.

There was never any question of making Elaine and David guardians over Chris and Jenny. As much as Elaine loved the children, Joanne knew the first thing Elaine would do in the event of their deaths would be to send both children away to some expensive boarding school in Europe. That wasn’t what Joanne wanted for her children. She wanted them to have a more grounded upbringing…and not one of entitlement.

It had been a lifestyle Joanne eschewed when she had turned down Charles’ offer to send her to school in England to marry her high school sweetheart…Roy.

Roy and Joanne both came to the same conclusion that night as they lay in bed talking... Tomorrow morning, they had a huge favour to ask of Johnny.

In the den, Johnny paced around the room restlessly. He was tired in every fiber of his being, but he couldn’t settle down enough to let nature’s opiate, sleep, claim his over taxed-body and mind. He went over to the large window in the den that looked out over the back yard and opened it up to let the night air inside the room. Johnny always slept better in a cooler room filled with a natural breeze.

The night air was silent… or as silent as Los Angeles ever got … and the skies were dark with just a sliver of a pale moon visible in the heavens. In the wan light he could make out the dark silhouettes of the trees that bordered along the fence line as the winds sent their branches weaving in and out of shadows…as if they were noiseless giants beckoning Johnny to come out and join them in their nocturnal dance.

Johnny turned from the window and made his way back to his bed where he sat down on its edge. The events and the ensuing conversations of the past few days kept playing themselves over and over in his mind.

Maybe if he read for a few minutes from one of the books he’d brought with him, he would finally get drowsy enough to fall asleep. Sighing, he picked up one of the paperbacks and continued to sit in the dark just staring down at its cover… his mind was thinking about everything but the book in his hands.

                           ~                            ~                            ~

Johnny opened his eyes and blearily glanced at the clock radio that sat on the nightstand… 5:42.

He’d fallen asleep fully clothed, draped across the bed. The early dawn skies were just beginning to turn from their deep purple-gray into a lighter shade of blue, as the early dawn light began to filter through the window, slowly brightening the room. He had obviously fallen asleep at some point.

He stretched out his muscles that had stiffened up due to the awkward position he had been lying in for the past couple of hours. He stifled a groan as those same muscles protested at the movement.

Slowly he pushed himself off the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. He stood and stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and grimaced at the face looking back at him. He scratched the stubble on his chin, and used his hands to try and smooth down the wild tufts of hair that stuck out wildly all over his head. The dark circles under his eyes told the story of lack of sleep.

Johnny turned on the faucet and let the water run until it was ice cold. He leaned down and splashed some water on his face, then he scooped up some water into his hands and rinsed the stale taste out of his mouth.

When he was finished he wiped his wet hands on a small towel hanging on the towel bar and ambled out to the kitchen to get the coffee maker going.

As soon as he heard the hissing sounds of the appliance and the dark liquid dripping into the glass pot, he made his way back to the guest bathroom in order to grab a quick shower and a shave before the rest of the house woke up.

By the time he had finished his morning ablutions, the coffee was ready… its aroma both rich and inviting. He poured himself a large mug full of the brew and began drifting through the house, surveying all the personal touches that Roy and Joanne had put up over their seven years of marriage… items that had turned this empty shell of bricks and mortar into a warm and loving home.

Looking over the various items, one could instantly see the love and care with which each item had been selected to be displayed around the house… each one earning their place of honor on the various walls and shelves… each one a happy memory.

There was a framed piece of paper that was about 11x13 in size. It was covered in brightly coloured smears and smudges, underneath the pattern, scrawled in small childlike letters was the word ,

Chris DeSoto.

In the lower right hand corner Joanne had written,

 Christopher DeSoto aged 5.

His first finger painting on his very first day of school.

September 4th 1973.

Directly above it were two very expensive looking frames that held Roy’s certificates from the Fire Academy and the Paramedic program.

Further over, on a shelf on the far wall sat two tiny pairs of bronzed baby shoes. Johnny picked them up for a moment and smiled as he noted how small they looked in his hands. He gently replaced them and continued glancing around the room. His eyes drifted over and settled on the fireplace mantle, and the rows of pictures that graced its surface. On one end sat Roy and Jo’s wedding picture. Beside that sat a couple of baby pictures of the kids, and Chris’s school photo. The rest were made up of various family pictures that had been taken on family picnics and other various holidays. Almost all of them included Johnny.

He was about to turn away when his eyes fell on a small 4 x6 photo in a small silver frame that was sitting almost out of sight in the back row. Johnny reached over and plucked it up.

He smiled softly as he glanced into the faces of the young newly married couple as they held onto their newborn son… their first child. The infant Christopher sat in Roy’s protective arms, as his parents gazed lovingly upon his newborn face. It was a picture so full of love, hope and the promise of a happy future together.

Johnny couldn’t help but be reminded of a similar picture on his own bedside table. It too, was of a young couple… his parents … as they held their newborn son in their arms. They had the same adoring looks on their faces… the same love and the same hope for a long life together as a family. He smiled sadly and set the picture back down.

Along the back of the mantelpiece was a small picture of Joanne’s parents. He couldn’t help comparing them to his own grandparents. He had been taught by his mother to think of his grandparents as family. But the truth of it was, he seldom thought of them at all anymore and he certainly didn’t think of them as family.  For all intents and purposes they were dead to him. He had buried them forever, long ago when he had stepped on a dusty old bus in Montana when he was a boy of sixteen. He didn’t mourn their absence in his life… he didn’t grieve the loss. In fact, the only emotion he had felt that day had been relief… immense relief that they were gone forever from his life.

He wondered sadly if the Hirschs would end up the same way. He shook his head and heaved a sigh as he sat down heavily on the sofa. He set his now empty mug on the coffee table, and leaned back, resting his head on the back of the sofa… within a few short minutes his eyes slid shut as he drifted off to sleep. And that’s where Roy and Joanne found him when they made their way out to the living room, two hours later.

               ~                        ~                        ~

Joanne sat in her wheelchair on the deck, picked up the small pitcher from the tray Johnny had set on the picnic table and slowly poured some cream into her coffee. She watched as the pale liquid hit the dark steaming brew in her mug and spider its way into intricate patterns along the surface of the black liquid before picking up her spoon and mixing it in.

Beside her, Roy was dozing in a lounge chair, basking in the warm afternoon sun. The upper portion of his body was surrounded by the pillows Johnny had brought out to cushion his injured ribs and shoulder.

The sounds of Johnny working in the kitchen drifted out the sliders and onto the deck. She smiled to herself and wondered what it was that Johnny was busy cooking. All week long she had been coaching him in the kitchen… showing him some of the more basic rules to cooking. Today he had decided to try out her crock pot, and he’d shooed her out onto the deck with Roy when she had tried to sneak a peek into the pot.

Chris had been invited to have dinner over at Tony’s house, and Jenny was currently sitting at the kitchen table looking through her picture books, where Johnny could keep a close eye on her.

Joanne thought back to the conversation she and Roy had had the night before. Like Roy, the realization of how close they had come to dying last weekend had been an eye opener for her. And just as Roy had done, she had come to the realization that they had left a lot of things up in the air with regards to their childrens’ future. Until Roy had mentioned it, Joanne had never seriously considered John Gage as a guardian for her children, but the more she thought of it… the more she realized he was the perfect… and only choice.

A month before she might have cringed at the thought of a single man becoming a “mom and dad” to her children. After all Johnny could seem like such a big kid himself. But this week had really opened Joanne’s eyes to another side of the dark haired man.

Sure, more often than not, he forgot to add fabric softener to the laundry, and true he did use her good tea towels as a napkin while cooking. Not to mention the fact that the man actually considered french fries a vegetable, and he let Chris go out to play in his good school pants. But this week she had also seen a very different side of him.

This week, she had seen a man who patiently helped her six year old learn to tie his shoes… or prompted him with his word lists, without doing it for him. He had gotten up without complaint at three in the morning to soothe Jenny when she’d had a nightmare. He read the same story books over and over again, making up silly voices for the characters and didn’t complain when her three year old daughter gave him a big hug, getting chocolate syrup on his favourite shirt. He could fix skinned knees and kiss boo boos to make them better. He loved those kids as if they were his own…and more importantly … they loved him back. Not to mention how gentle and caring he had been with both she and Roy while taking care of them.

So what if he made a mess in the kitchen while cooking, or used her good bath sheets to dry the dog off? He may not always get it right… but then again, who did? He loved her kids and would protect them with his life. He may not be Miss Manners, but he showered them with love, and gave them what was most important.

But the biggest deciding factor was the fact that he was there… and he always had been. He’d dropped everything and put his life on hold without being asked and without a moment’s hesitation. He was there when they needed him now, and she knew that he would be there for Chris and Jenny if the need ever arose in the future.

The more she thought about it, the more certain she was that Johnny Gage was the perfect… and only choice to be guardian of her babies.

The sound of Roy moving in the chair beside her startled Joanne out of her reverie.  Glancing over she couldn’t help but smile at how cute Roy looked, just waking up, his hair tousled… just like an overgrown version of Chris. “Well, hello, handsome. Did you have a good nap?” she asked.

Roy shifted himself up carefully in the chair. “Mmm hmm,” he answered with a smile. “It’s good to feel the sun on my face again after a week in the hospital,” he said. “So, have you been just sitting there watching me sleep all this time?” he asked her.

“Not the entire time,” she admitted. “I was also listening to Johnny making dinner, drinking my coffee … and thinking about our little talk last night,” she answered.

Roy glanced through the sliders and then shifted his gaze back toward Joanne, his brow knitted deep in thought. The conversation he and Joanne had had the night before had tugged at him all afternoon. “I think,” he said slowly, “that we should approach Johnny tonight after the kids are in bed, and ask him then… about changing our will and making him Chris and Jen’s guardian, I mean.”

Joanne nodded in agreement. “I was thinking the same thing before you woke up. So how do you think we should broach the subject?”

“Be direct and just come out with it… With Johnny it’s best to be direct and let him mull it over for a bit without pressuring him for an answer right away,” Roy said.

Just then Johnny came through the sliders. “Ah, Sleeping Beauty is awake… you ready to eat?” he asked.

“I don’t know Junior,” Roy said skeptically. “What did you make?”

“Beef stew,” he said proudly. “I made it in that crock pot you got Joanne last Christmas. Man, that thing is incredible. It even makes me into a good cook,” he exclaimed.

Roy had to admit, he was pleasantly surprised by how good the stew tasted.

“I gotta tell ya, Junior, this is pretty good stew. You’ll have to make it for the fellas next time you draw kitchen duty,” he said.

“Funny you should mention that, Roy,” Johnny replied. “I’ve been thinking a lot about it. Now you know how often we get toned out… and sometimes it comes halfway through making a meal…or else we come back in from a big fire, and we have to wait until someone cooks something, right?”

Roy just nodded, not sure where Johnny was going with this.

“Well, I was thinking,” Johnny went on, “We should invest in one of these crock pots for the station. I mean we got three shifts… that’s eighteen guys in total. Now if we each tossed in a couple bucks we could buy one of these things. It would be perfect for our lifestyle. I mean…have you seen all the things you can cook in one of those babies?”

It was at this point that Jenny, while reaching for a slice of bread, knocked over her glass of milk. Without missing a beat, Johnny jumped up and grabbed Jenny out of her booster seat and transferred her over to his chair. Then he strode over to the counter and grabbed the roll of paper towels and ripped off several sheets, using them to catch the stream of milk before it could run onto the floor.

“I mean, you could start the meal in the morning, and cook it slow all day…   you’d just set the timer. Then even if we did get toned out, it would keep on slowly cooking while we were away,” Johnny continued.

He tossed the paper towels into the trash and then grabbed a wet dish cloth and wiped the table off. Grabbing Jenny he put her back into her booster seat, and gave her a gentle kiss on her head. “Here ya go, button,” he said as he handed her a slice of bread and re-filled her glass with milk.

Johnny kept on talking as if nothing had happened. “I mean, wouldn’t it be nice to come back from a fire…when we’re all sweaty, dirty and tired, to a hot meal that’s already cooked and waiting for us? Imagine if it was your turn to cook how grateful you’d be if you came back exhausted from a big fire and you didn’t have to find the energy to cook a big meal?”

Joanne and Roy watched the entire exchange, their eyes connected briefly and they smiled. The unspoken message between them was clear… Johnny was the perfect choice for our family.

“I think it is a fabulous idea, Johnny,” Roy answered. Only Joanne was aware of the double meaning to her husband’s statement.

“You do?” Johnny almost sounded shocked.

“Sure, I do… I think you made a lot of valid points,” Roy said.

Johnny’s face broke out into a wide grin. “Well far out,” he exclaimed happily. “Next time I see the guys, I’m gonna suggest it.” 

                                            ~                                ~                                  ~

The rest of the evening passed by pleasantly; Chris came home from Tony’s and Johnny got to work getting the kids ready for bed. As had become their habit the past few nights, once the kids were washed and in their pyjamas, they brought down a handful of books for their bedtime stories. That night it was Roy who read to them before giving them hugs and kisses so Johnny could tuck them in for the night.

It was getting on to nine o’clock when Joanne looked over at Roy and motioned over to Johnny. Roy looked back and nodded his head in agreement and slowly cleared his throat.

“Johnny,” he said solemnly. “We wondered if we could talk to you for a minute?”

Johnny looked up from the book he was reading and leaned forward in his seat.

“Sure, guys… what do you want?”

Roy cast a glance in Joanne’s direction. She nodded her head in encouragement, urging him to go on.

“You know, Johnny … this accident … these past ten days… well, they have been a real wake up call for Joanne and I,” he fumbled out.

Johnny began to look dubious. “What are you getting at, Roy?”

Roy couldn’t help but pause for a moment to run his eyes over the row of pictures that lined the fireplace mantle.

“Roy… what’s the matter?” Johnny asked worriedly.

Roy drew in a steadying breath and looked Johnny directly in the eyes.

“Well, Jo and I were talking about it last night, and we came to the conclusion that, although  we’ve discussed what she would do should anything ever happen to me, we’ve never stopped to consider, what would become of Chris and Jenny should we both go together….like what  almost happened last weekend. I mean, we have life insurance, so it’s not about the money….” his voice trailed off.

The fatigue lines on Roy’s face reminded Johnny of just how big a toll the past week and a half had exacted from the man, but he sat on the sofa silently, allowing Roy to collect his thoughts so he could finish.

“The thing is, Johnny, my mom is seventy five now, plus she has arthritis; Jo’s parents are … well … you know what they are,” Roy said scornfully.

“And as much as Elaine and David love Chris and Jen… they’ve never made any pretense about the fact that they don’t want children. If anything happened to us, and they ended it up with the kids, it would only be a matter of time before they were shipped off to some boarding school in Europe. And neither Jo nor I would ever want to see that happen.”

Roy reached over with his uninjured hand and grasped Johnny’s forearm.

“Jo and I would like your permission to make you Chris and Jenny’s guardian should anything ever happen to us.”

Roy let the statement hang in the air. Both he and Joanne looked at Johnny to try and gauge his reaction.

On any other occasion Roy might have laughed at the dumbfounded look on the younger man’s face. As it was, he couldn’t help but smile at the utter look of incredulity that Johnny wore. You could have parked a truck in Johnny’s mouth, it gaped open so wide.

Johnny sat there on the sofa in stunned silence, trying to absorb what he’d just heard. Had they just asked him to be the Chris and Jenny’s guardian? He was fairly sure he’d heard Roy correctly. He had known that the perimeters of their friendship had changed over the years… but still he had to ask… just to be sure.

“Come again?” he stammered out.

“We’re serious, Johnny,” Joanne assured him. “We can’t think of anyone better… or anyone we’d trust more with our children than you. Let’s face it, you’re already family anyway … at least in all the ways that matter. Besides, we really think this is what the kids would want too… if they had a voice in the matter,” she finished.

Johnny kept his gaze down, lifting his eyes just enough to look at the bank of pictures on the fireplace, just as Roy had done moments earlier. He seemed to be considering what they had asked of him….not that he needed to think about it … it was a given.  As far as he was concerned, there was never a question of his NOT being there for them if something ever happened to either Roy or Jo…but what he had not thought of until recently, was what would happen if Roy and Jo went together.   

When he finally spoke, his voice was heavy with emotion.

“Of course I will… you didn’t even have to ask… I can’t believe you think so much of me, that you would trust me to raise your children,” he answered huskily.

“You know, I think this is the first time since my parents died that I have felt… accepted… like I belong somewhere.  I mean I know we’re real close, and you’ve always welcomed me into your home and treated me like family. And I’ve appreciated that. Ever since we became partners, I’ve always secretly wished that I really was your brother. Hell, I’ve even pretended I was… almost since the beginning. And even though it may have started off as nothing more than wishful thinking on my part, back at the start of our partnership, back when my Aunt died…”

Johnny looked up at the couple and smiled sadly. “I just needed to feel like I belonged somewhere…that there was someone out there who still cared. And even though it might have been nothing more than wishful thinking at first …  somewhere along the line…it wasn’t just wishful thinking anymore… not for me. I’m not sure when it crossed over from pretending to being real for me. I’m not sure there was a defining moment or event. I just think as time went on, it just happened…the line between real and pretend got so blurred, that it eventually disappeared. At least it did for me. I’d always hoped that it was the same for you… but I guess I was always too afraid to ask. You’ve always said I was like family… but somehow being like family and being real family just isn’t the same thing, you know?"

“The fact is, you, Jo and the kids… you’re the only family I have….real or pretend. And the fact that you want to make it official by making me the kids’ guardian… well it means more to me than you can ever imagine. And I hope and pray that the need never arises…but I promise you, that if that day ever comes, I will move heaven and earth to make sure I raise Chris and Jen in the way you would have done yourselves.”

                                          ~                                 ~                           ~

As Roy lay in bed that night, he couldn’t help thinking about what Johnny had said.

Roy and Jo had constantly told Johnny that he was a part of their family, they had referred to him as little brother for a long time now, but Roy had had his eyes opened tonight. The depth of Johnny’s loneliness and his deep need to belong was driven home.

Johnny hadn’t had a childhood…not really. And he hadn’t had a family since he had been a small boy. Of course he would feel unsure and insecure. And thanks to the indoctrination he had received at the hands of his grandparents, who had drilled into him that he wasn’t worthy of any family… he had still questioned his place in the DeSoto family.

Johnny’s childhood had suddenly stopped in the tracks of time when he was ten years old. In some respects the child that was John Gage lived perpetually at that young age, almost as if he himself had died the night his parents had been killed. The child John had ceased to live that night, and the human being that was left behind had been thrust into the adult world. Sadly, it had been a world that contained all the darker, more sinister aspects of human nature.  It had been a world of murder, abuse, alcoholism, pain and rejection. Johnny had been forced to deal with very adult issues, with the comprehension skills of a ten year old mind. Roy could only guess at what that had felt like… it must have been sheer hell.

Roy understood his younger brother. He understood the origins of his inability to trust that he was part of their family. He understood his grief for the profound sense loss over what might have been, if only his parents had lived.

The small boy John must have been drowning in a sea of confusion, emptiness, solitude and grief. But most of all, he must have felt an overwhelming sense of desertion; desertion by his grandparents, his doctors, his teachers…but most of all…from his own parents.

And whether Johnny ever admitted it to himself or not, he’d been angry. Angry not only at his grandparents, but at his parents as well. The sense of desertion he must have felt as a small boy… anger at his parents because they had died and left him behind, anger at being deprived of the chance to grow up surrounded by the feeling of unconditional love and security that every child deserved. Anger at being stuck in a hell from which he couldn’t escape. And maybe that is what Johnny had been looking for all these years…and that’s what Roy wanted to give him. He wanted to give him that sense that he belonged… that he was loved.

Roy hadn’t used the words ‘I love you’ in regards to Johnny… nor had Johnny ever said them back… guys just didn’t do that. Generally speaking, guys weren’t comfortable with saying it to anyone other than their sweethearts and children. But Roy had finally clued in to the fact that Johnny needed something more tactile in order to at least feel like he was loved… even if men didn’t say the words to each other.

It was at that point that Roy had an idea. Instead of just instructing their lawyer to add Johnny’s guardianship in their will…maybe he needed to make a grander gesture. Maybe he needed to make more of a big deal out of it for Johnny’s sake.

That is when he got the idea of a contract. He would have his lawyer make up a contract…one where Johnny would assume all the duties and responsibilities as being a part of their family, agreeing to fulfill the roll of Uncle to the kids and brother to him and Joanne. But even more than that, he would ask Johnny to also accept the role of being his and Jo’s next of kin should anything ever happen to them that rendered them both mentally incapacitated. In turn Johnny would be legally accepted as a full-fledged member of the DeSoto family in their will.  Roy was sure the lawyer could find some way to word it…something they would have to sign to make it official. It would be perfect and finally give Johnny something concrete … something to physically show to the world that he was family in every way and that their calling him brother wasn’t just mere lip-service.

                           ~                                  ~                                ~

“… So anyway, I go to my mailbox to get my mail this morning…and there it was, Roy, this letter from some lawyer telling me he needed to see me in his office this afternoon over some legal matter regarding this whole guardianship deal,” Johnny exclaimed, gesticulating wildly with his empty fork in one hand and a long white business envelope in the other.

He was sitting at the DeSoto’s kitchen table, waving his hands in the air animatedly while he ate his lunch. As usual he was talking while he was eating; loading his fork with lasagna, waving it in the air while he talked and then shoving the food into his mouth during the pauses.

“And then I come here, only to find out that you and Jo, got one too. Do either of you have any idea what this is all about? You don’t think Priscilla and Charles hired some big fancy lawyer to contest it do you?” he asked worriedly.

“Calm down, Junior. It’s not like we’ve broken any laws. We’ll just have to wait until we get there to see what’s going on. Now would please stop waving your food around, you’re getting lasagna all over the place.”

“Calm down … calm down! Are you serious, Roy? We’ve been summoned to a lawyer’s office for heaven’s sake…now unless it’s to inform me that I’ve been named as an heir to a million dollar fortune, I can’t see this as being a good thing.”

Roy almost let Johnny in on the secret just to calm him down, but in the end he decided it would be better to just play innocent for the hour remaining before they had to leave.

It had been eight weeks since the accident and life was finally getting back to normal.  All casts had been removed, the bedrooms had been put back in order and Johnny had moved back home to his apartment. Johnny had been back at work for two weeks now, and Roy would be returning as soon as he finished with his final physical therapy session on his wrist in three days’ time.

It was a warm, late June afternoon and it was one of those rare times when the three adults were alone. Chris and Jenny were away for the day because Joanne’s cousin, Lorraine, from Flagstaff, had been in Los Angeles the past week visiting with Elaine and David. David was currently in a rehab facility learning how to walk again.

Lorraine had stopped over with her young son, Tyler, and had offered to take Chris and Jenny out to Disneyland for the day. The timing couldn’t have been better. This was the day Roy and Joanne were going to be making Johnny an official member of their family, and not having to take the kids with them to the lawyers office was a big help.

                                             ~                                ~                                    ~

For a big shot lawyer, his office was surprisingly unimpressive. Johnny sat in the lawyer’s office in front of his desk trying his best to quell the butterflies in his stomach. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants… he wasn’t exactly sure why he had been summoned here. He just knew it had something to do with his guardianship. By this point he had convinced himself that the Hirsch’s must have filed something against him… or Roy and Joanne. 

It wasn’t until the lawyer had handed him the document and Roy had let him in on what they wanted to do, that he finally calmed down….well, calmed down was a subjective state. It would have been more accurate to say, that he had gone from being worried, to be overwhelmed by what he was reading on the sheet of parchment in his hands.

He read the document carefully, but found he was too overwhelmed to comment. He was vaguely aware that the lawyer was speaking to him.

“…Furthermore Roy and Joanne want to make you their official next of kin should they both become incapacitated at the same time,” he finished.

Leaning back in his chair the lawyer laced his fingers together behind his head. For a moment he was sure the young dark haired man before him was going to pass out in his office. The thought entered his mind, that it was a good job both of these men were Paramedics…the way the young man looked now, he might be in need of one in about two minutes.

“I can’t believe you did this,” Johnny said. “I don’t know what to say… this is just…wow,” he said shakily.

Roy reached over and handed Johnny the pen off the desk.

“Here you go, Junior. One signature and your officially part of the DeSoto family.”

Johnny took the pen, his hands still shaking. He paused to slow his breathing down and steady his hand as he leaned over the desk and signed his name on the dotted line.

The lawyer took the document out of the man’s still shaking hands and set it in the open folder in front of him. Even now the dark haired young man before him looked like he was just a hairs breath away from keeling over in shock.

He decided maybe a little levity was needed to calm the man down. “Relax, Mr. Gage. This is all pretty straightforward stuff. There’s nothing to be worried about here, you’re just agreeing to legally bind yourself to this family, not signing an oath in blood or selling your soul to the devil.”

Roy realized what the lawyer was trying to do, and immediately joined in.

“Well, I wouldn’t be too sure about that one… you haven’t met my mother-in-law,” Roy said ruefully, earning him a swat on the arm from Joanne. But It had the desired effect when Johnny stopped reading and looked up as Roy’s words filtered through.

Johnny began to giggle and looked over at the lawyer. “It’s true. If you look at the license plate on her car, the first three numbers are 666.”  Joanne gave Johnny a glare that they all knew wasn’t sincere.

                                       ~                             ~                                  ~

“There,” Roy said as he hung the framed document on the wall of their living room next to his Paramedic certificate. “That makes it official… all legal and binding,” he said as he stood back to admire it.

Although the original document was filed in the lawyer’s office, the lawyer had made two photocopies of paper; one for the DeSoto’s and a second one for Johnny. When they had arrived back at Roy and Joanne’s, Roy had gone into the den and returned with a large, very expensive picture frame. He then removed his photocopy from the file folder the lawyer had handed him and mounted the document in the frame.

Chris and Jenny had returned home twenty minutes earlier from their day at Disneyland. They were tired and dirty and a bit cranky. Joanne had decided that a plate of club sandwiches and some glasses of milk would have to do for supper. She had even broken her cardinal rule about eating all meals at the table, and allowed the children to eat their sandwiches off of paper plates on their laps as they sat on the sofa.

“Does this mean we adopted Uncle Johnny… hey, is his last name DeSoto now too?” he asked.

Roy laughed. “No, Chris, your Uncle Johnny’s last name is still Gage, and this is almost like adopting him. Adopting is something that you just do with kids. This just means that Uncle Johnny is officially part of our family now; and that piece of paper,” Roy said pointing to the newest frame on the wall, “is what the lawyer drew up that makes it legal now. It says Uncle Johnny promises to always be your Uncle and to make sure you and Jenny stay safe if mommy and daddy are not around. It also means that he is to be treated, in the eyes of the law, as mommy and I’s brother… seeing as you are too old for Joanne and me to actually adopt, Junior,” he joked as he patted Johnny affectionately on the shoulder.

Johnny looked over at Roy and smiled. “True,” he said. “But I can legally adopt all of you.”

Roy withdrew his hand from Johnny’s shoulder and stepped back in shock.

“Excuse me?”  he asked.

 “I said… I can legally adopt you guys… I have thought about it more than once in the last little while, but I wasn’t sure what you guys would think about the idea. But after today, well, I’d kinda like to repay the gesture in kind.”

Roy made his way over to the sofa to where Jo and the kids were seated, eating their sandwiches and sat down beside them.

“I don’t understand Johnny; what do you mean by ‘adopt’  … in case you haven’t noticed, I am many years past eighteen, and the kids already have parents,” Roy said in confusion.

Johnny sauntered over and sat down in between Roy and the kids on the sofa.

“In the Native culture, we can adopt someone into our family at any time… even if they are adults. It’s called a Tiyospaye. In the native culture there are ceremonies for making a biologically unrelated person a member of your family… you literally make them a relative. It’s called a Hunkakaga ceremony.

“It’s an outward declaration to the world that the person or persons, which are referred to as the Hunkapi, are now becoming a part of your own family for life. It’s considered a very serious action, because you are asking them to become a part of your family…your relatives become theirs and theirs become yours…. lock, stock and barrel.”

Roy, having seen how important his gesture at the lawyers office had been to Johnny, also understood that what Johnny was asking of him, was an equally potent display of honor, trust, loyalty and love. He had told Johnny weeks ago, that it was all a matter of offer and acceptance. And as much Johnny now knew he was accepted into Roy’s family, it was equally important for Roy allow Johnny to accept them into his.

“We’d be honored Johnny, thank you. It means a lot to us that you want to do that,” he said giving the younger man’s shoulder a slight squeeze. “Just exactly what happens during this ceremony Junior?” Roy hedged. “What do we have to do?”

Johnny smiled, pleased at the warm reception his request had gotten.

“Well,” he said. “In the traditional ceremonies lots of things happen…the least of which, is that the women paint their faces red, and men paint theirs red with a blue circle around their face and blue lines on their forehead. It symbolizes the change…or the rebirth of the Hunkapi into the new family. The original ceremony took several days and involved sweetgrass, a dried buffalo bladder and smoking a pipe…among other things.”

“Cool I’ll go get my paints,” Chris exclaimed, as he stood up and started to head for the stairs.

“Whoa there, sport,” Johnny laughed. In part at the child’s enthusiasm…but more because of the look of trepidation that now dominated both Roy and Joanne’s faces.

“I don’t think we need to do all of that to make this Tiyospaye official,” he said chasing after the boy and bringing him back to the sofa.

“Don’t forget that even though I was raised on a reservation; and my mother was a full blood Lakota, that I am also half White as well. As much as I was taught the native customs and traditions by my mother… and then later by White Eagle; I was also taught the white man’s ways too by my dad, Old Bill and the ranch owners…and Aunt Marian. Consequently I find it very easy to marry the two cultures together. I think we can honor the spirit of the Tiyospaye, without following the exact ceremony of the ancestors… it is the act and the intent and the outward declaration that are the important parts anyway,” he finished.

“Okay,” agreed a very relieved Roy. Painting his face he could do … and the sweetgrass didn’t bother him either … but a dried buffalo bladder and letting his kids smoke a pipe had been a bit worrisome. “So what do you need us to do?” he inquired.

“Well, sometimes gifts were also exchanged…meaningful gifts.  I kinda thought maybe, since you did this for me, I could come up with some physical gift…some outward personal object that would show that we are now all one family. However…” he said standing up slowly. “Right now it’s getting late and I have to be on duty tomorrow. How about you give me a couple of weeks to work on it and I’ll get back to you?”

Without waiting for a reply, Johnny bent down and hugged Chris and Jenny, before grabbing his sport jacket off the back of the couch. “Bye, bye, guys. I’ll see you on Saturday. Sleep tight. And you,” he said turning to hug Joanne, “thanks for feeding me,” he winked as he gave her a small peck on the cheek.

Roy stood up and stood next to Joanne. “I just want to tell you again, how proud I am to call you brother…to have you be a part of this family,” he said as he pulled Johnny into a hug.

The two men stayed in the embrace for several minutes while Johnny got a hold on his emotions. Finally pulling apart Johnny put a hand on each of Joanne’s and Roy’s shoulders. “You guys have no idea how much this day has meant to me…I just…I just…” finally being to overcome by his emotions, he pulled them both into a quick hug. “Thanks,” he said huskily.He turned quickly and slipped out the door before he broke down completely in front of the kids.

It was almost three weeks later, when Johnny returned to Roy and Joanne’s with a large box under his arm and a bag containing several smaller packages in his other hand. He had phoned the night before and informed Roy that he had everything he needed to make the Tiyospaye official, and that he would be over the next day. He shifted the packages awkwardly as he freed up one of his hands in order to ring the doorbell.

It was less than a minute later when Roy opened the front door and ushered Johnny inside. Upon entering the house, Johnny found Chris and Jenny sitting patiently on the couch beside Joanne, a look of solemnity on their small faces. Johnny bent down in front of them and tweaked their noses.

“Are you ready to become part of my family guys?” he asked.

“Uh huh… we’ve been sitting here for ages, just waiting for you to get here,” Chris answered.

“Well then,” Johnny said with a grin. “I guess we’d better get this show on the road, huh?”

Walking over to the coffee table, Johnny sat the box and the bag down on its surface. Reaching inside the bag, he withdrew a large braid of sweetgrass. He carried the braid over to the fireplace, where he withdrew a lighter and carefully lit the end of the braid and set it gently on the hob. Noticing the questioning looks he was getting from Roy and Joanne, Johnny explained what he was doing.

“It’s sweetgrass… a smudge. Since I am accepting you as my Tiyospaye, and it is a native custom…and I am half native. Well, as much as I am accepting you and your world, you are also accepting mine… we are marrying our two families together, and that includes our cultures. And using sweetgrass is one of the native customs I still adhere to.”

“It like the way it smells,” Joanne said approvingly.

Johnny stood up and walked over until he was facing the entire DeSoto family. Clearing his throat he began to speak in a solemn tone.

Today, I John Roderick Gage, accept you, Joanne Elizabeth DeSoto, Roy William DeSoto, Jennifer Lynn DeSoto, and Christopher Roy DeSoto, into my Tiyospaye. The word itself is made up of two words, tipi…meaning living place, and Ospaye, which means a group of dwellings.

Next Johnny reached into the big box and withdrew a beautifully woven native looking quilt. Joanne instantly recognized it as the one Johnny’s mother made for him.

“What are you doing with the quilt from your bed, Johnny?” she asked.

Johnny lovingly opened the quilt and spread it out on the coffee table.

“This isn’t the one from my bed… this is its mate. My mother made two identical quilts, one for my bed and one for her and dad’s bed. This is the one that was on their bed … it is the personal gift I have chosen to give to you… my Tiyospaye.

“Oh sweetie… we couldn’t…your mother made that,” Joanne protested.

But Johnny was insistent.“You can and you will,” he said seriously. “At least you will, if you meant what you said about becoming part of my Tiyospaye. This quilt is a symbol of my old family… the one that was taken from me. It is one of the last threads to my old life, and I am presenting it to you today as a way of connecting my old family to my new one.”

Joanne took the quilt in her hands and held it out for Roy to see… the two of them fingering it lovingly, examining the intricate patterns.

Next Johnny began to unpack the smaller packages in the bag.

“This is the next gift I wish to present to you … to all of us. A symbol of our new unity.”

Johnny grabbed a large object wrapped carefully in layers of tissue paper. Gradually the paper fell away, exposing a large bronze tree… or more correctly … a large bronze tree trunk with hooks where it branches could be attached to it.

“This,” Johnny explained, is a cottonwood tree. I choose this tree and the bronze for several symbolic reasons. I chose the bronze because of its properties. Bronze is an alloy made up of copper and tin. When melted together, the two metals become much stronger than they are alone. And that is how I see us … strengthened by the joining of our two families.

Next I chose the cottonwood tree, because it has a great meaning in the Lakota culture. First, because in the Lakota folklore, it was the cottonwood, though the shape of its leaves that showed my people how to make a tipi… our living place. And second, because if you cut open one of the upper limbs from a cottonwood tree, inside you will find a perfect five pointed star pattern inside.

This represents the presence of the Great Spirit … God. And since I fully believe with all my heart that it was God who caused our life paths to cross, I thought this was the perfect tree to symbolize what we are doing here today.”

Johnny set the bronze tree onto the coffee table and then presented each of the DeSoto’s with a small package. Each package had their names written on the top.

“Open them,” Johnny urged.

Upon opening the package, each person discovered a small bronze branch that was grooved to fit perfectly onto the hooks of the bronze tree trunk. Roy turned his branch over in his hands and discovered his name and that day’s date engraved on the back of the branch. Glancing over he discovered each one of their branches had been engraved with their names on it, as well as that days date. He also realized that Johnny had a branch of his own that was engraved similarly.

“The date is to show, the day that we became a Tiyospaye,” Johnny said quietly. 

He moved the tree into the center of the coffee table and gently attached his branch to the tree. He then held it out to Joanne, and motioned for her to follow suit.

Carefully Joanne took her branch and attached it to the tree. Once she was finished, Johnny leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

“Welcome to my Tiyospaye, Joanne. We are all related. We are all one,” he said.

Joanne guided Jenny’s hands as she too attached her branch…and once again Johnny repeated the process of kissing the top of the child’s head and reciting the welcome. Chris followed Jenny, and finally Johnny brought the tree over to Roy.

Looking into Johnny’s face, the two men held each other’s gaze for a long time. Although no words were being physically spoken… so much was being said. So many thoughts and feelings were exchanged as they looked into each others eyes. Finally, Roy slowly took his branch and attached it to the tree.

As he had with the others, Johnny leaned forward and kissed the top of Roy’s head.

“Welcome to my Tiyospaye, Roy. We are all related. We are all one,” he whispered.

After several moments of silence, Johnny took the tree and handed it to Roy, who then took it and placed it on the mantle.

Once Roy returned to sit on the sofa, Johnny stood up, pointed to the tree and said, “Our Family Tree. Each member is a different and unique branch growing out of one single trunk, and even though each branch may grow out in a different direction…our roots will always remain as one.

                      ~                                            ~                                            ~

Later that evening Johnny lay on the floor, helping Chris build a ferris wheel with his tinker toys, while Roy looked on, occasionally tossing out suggestions as to what piece they should use next. Looking across the room to where Joanne was seated on the sofa, drinking her coffee, he noticed her watching the scene on the floor, a small smiled playing on her lips. As if sensing that she was being watched, she lifted her gaze to meet Roy’s where they shared a silent ‘thumbs up’ at how at peace Johnny seemed to  be just laying there with their children.

Johnny had cut all ties with all that had remained of his biological family when he left Montana at the age of sixteen, the threads of his old life with his mom and dad left hanging loose. But now the severed and fragmented pieces of those loose ends had been gathered up with the threads of the DeSoto family and woven back together.

Those new family ties were stronger and pure, because it was a family made by God. And as Roy sat back and watched Johnny while he interacted with Jo and his children, he thought about what Johnny had said about the cottonwood tree and how its branches represented the presence of God. Roy walked over to the fireplace and ran his hand over the bonze tree trunk that now held a permanent place of honor on his mantle. He gently fingered the five branches it held.  “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder,” he said quietly.

Johnny, hearing Roy’s words, looked up into his brother’s eyes and smiled. Just a few weeks earlier he had told himself that reaching for the stars was futile… that stars were never meant to be touched. But now he knew the truth. Here, in the DeSoto living room, surrounded by his Tiyospaye, he didn’t need to reach out and try to touch any of the stars anymore …  he was flying so high that he had simply risen up into the skies and joined them.

                                                                    The End

Posted to Site 03/30/13

Cruella DeVille is a character and property of the Walt Disneyland Corporation.

LINKS TO PART 1. 2.