LINKS TO PARTS 1. 2.

John Gage walked into the day room of station 51 at 7:50am the following morning. Mike Stoker and Marco Lopez were the only other crew members from the A-shift present.

“Hey Johnny… How ya feelin? We weren’t sure if you would be back today,” Marco stated.

“Fine,” John replied heading for the coffee pot. He poured his first cup and grabbed a freshly baked cinnamon roll as Captain Stanley entered the room.  Hank had spotted the medical release papers on his desk so he knew his senior paramedic had arrived to work early.

“John, I need to see you in my office for a minute.”

“Sure Cap, I will be right there…”

“Hey partner!” John exclaimed as he saw Ryan walk into the room behind the Captain.

Mike and Marco, who both had been reading the paper, said “Mornin Ro….” They looked up and stopped, realizing the man that entered the room was not their senior paramedic.

“Hi Johnny,” Ryan greeted him.

“Let me introduce you to the crew,” John continued without missing a beat. “This is Marco Lopez one of our lineman, and Mike Stoker our engineer…I think you know Captain Stanley already. The other lineman, Chet Kelly, should be running in here any second.  Last man in gets stuck with latrine duty, just so ya know for future reference. Guys, this is Ryan Caldwell….he is from Station 45.”

“Ryan, why don’t ya grab a cup of coffee? I will be right back…Cap wants to see me,” John stated as he walked out of the day room and headed into his Captain’s office.

The two firemen had both stood up and shook hands with the new comer, and then directed a questioning stare towards their Captain, who was just as stunned as his men.

“Ryan, welcome to Station 51,” the Captain replied, “Ah, why don’t you do as John suggested…grab some coffee and a seat. He can show you around in a few minutes.”

“Ok Captain Stanley…thank you.”

Hank gave his other two other crew members a look; indicating he would explain all of this later.

The captain walked into his office to find John standing by the desk facing him.

“So I guess it is safe to assume that you talked to Roy yesterday,” Hank stated.

“Yes”

“…and you understand what is going on?”

“Yep”

“…and you are ok with this?”

“Sure Cap,” the dark haired paramedic answered trying to sound nonchalant.

“John, I have to say I am kind of surp…”  Hank started to say as the tones suddenly went off preventing him from finishing the rest of his sentence.

“LA Squad 51…respond for trouble breathing…2490 Maple Avenue 2-4-9-0 Maple Avenue cross street Concord…time out 0801.”

John headed out of the office.

“Ryan… Let’s go!” he yelled as he reached the squad and climbed into the driver’s seat. Caldwell slid in on the passenger side a moment later. 

 “LA Squad 51… 10-4…KMG365,” Stoker replied into the mic. John accepted the slip of paper from the engineer and immediately passed it off to his partner. The garage door rose and the squad moved forward, hanging a hard left at the end of the driveway.  They heard John hit the gas and the vehicle disappeared rapidly down the street.

Chet came barreling out of the locker room and into the bay a few moments later “Cap…sorry I’m late. I couldn’t find my badge and…” He skidded to a stop seeing the perplexed expression on his crew member’s faces.

“What’s going on?”

“Ok,” Hank began, “let’s go into the day room and sit down...I will fill you all in on what has happened over the last forty-eight hours.”

                                                                                ***           ***

Roy DeSoto pulled into the parking lot of Station 36 at 7:20am on Friday morning.  He had wanted to be early to meet with Captain Miller and get acclimated to the station and squad. 

It felt…wrong.

Roy desperately wanted to get the next twenty-four hours over with so he could sit down with his best friend and get to the bottom of his strange behavior.  He walked into the locker room, found an empty place to store his stuff, and proceeded shove his belongings into it. The blond haired paramedic hoped he would only be occupying the thing on a temporary basis.  He started to unbutton his shirt to change into his uniform, but gave up after the third button.  Roy sat down on the bench wishing he could just get back in his car and go home.  This was even harder than he had anticipated; and it wasn’t just the transfer.  He had worked with other paramedics before when John was out...for one reason or another.  He finally realized deep down what was bothering him…it was Caldwell. He knew the reputation of pretty much all the paramedics. But Caldwell was new to their area, and Roy had an uneasy feeling he just couldn’t shake.  He remained lost in thought for several more moments until the sound of footsteps approaching brought him back.  Jack Bradley walked through the door.

“Hi Partner,” Jack said as he walked over to Roy with his arm extended, “Welcome to Station 36.  You’re gonna love it here!”

Roy stood up and shook the hand that was offered to him.  He smiled dutifully back and exchanged pleasantries with the man before him, but his mind was shouting the words he couldn’t say out loud,

“Like hell I am….”

                                                                                         ***          ***

Hank Stanley returned to his office after advising the rest of his crew about the transfers and Headquarters reasoning behind it. He knew his men and he was right; they did not take it well. Except for Gage, who ironically seemed to be quite accepting of the change. Hank wondered if Roy had given his friend the impression that this was going to be a temporary assignment.  It was the only logical explanation he could come up with for how John was behaving. He fully intended to finish the conversation they had started, and find out exactly what was going on with his “senior paramedic” when the boys returned to the station.

Gage and Caldwell, however, had a steady stream of runs that kept them busy up until dinner time. They were just entering the bay as Marco was putting food on the table.  John inched the squad back until it was in its proper place.  He shifted it into park, shut of the engine, and the two men exited the truck slamming the doors. 

“Looks like they lucked out and won’t have to eat re-heated stew,” Cap replied hearing his paramedics return.

“THAT,” Chet answered, “remains to be seen. Let’s see what happens when Gage…I mean my favorite “pigeon” gets the food on his plate.”

The lineman absolutely loved the exasperated look that appeared on Gage’s face when he got toned out before getting even one bite of food from his plate into his mouth.  The “look” was quickly followed by the “table thump” with his fists, and then dumping the food back into the serving bowl. 

It didn’t take much to entertain Chet Kelly…and anything that annoyed Gage always brought a smile to the Irishman’s face.

The crew looked up as the two paramedics entered the room.

“Man, I’m hungry enough to even eat Kelly’s cookin,” John groaned as he sank into the chair.

Chet grabbed a roll off the plate in the center of the table and whipped it at the young man’s head. John dodged the direct hit by jerking his body to the side.  His right hand shot up and caught the roll before it hit the wall behind him.

“Thanks Chet!” John replied, “Can ya pass me the butter too?” 

John set the roll on his plate and then reached down absentmindedly massaging his right knee. The action was not missed by his Captain.

“How’s the leg holding up,” Hank inquired.

John immediately pulled his hand back and started filling his plate.

“Its fine Cap…Just a little sore is all…nothing to worry about.”

Cap raised his eyebrows and stared hard at the dark haired paramedic trying to see if he was telling the truth or downplaying the pain.

“Damn it” he thought “I wish DeSoto was here. He was much better at detecting if Gage was lying through his teeth or not.” Unable to come to a definite conclusion, he decided to let it go and just keep an eye on him.

Chet Kelly sat with his forearms resting on the table, the food on his plate untouched.  His stare remained fixed upon the dark haired paramedic. 

John’s fork was loaded with stew as he raised it up to his mouth.  He paused halfway as he caught the intense stare he was receiving from his crewmate.

“Man…what is your PROBLEM?”

“Nothing,” Chet replied with a grin.

“He’s waiting….” Marco offered up.

“Waiting? ...Waiting for what?” John stopped short… and then looked down at the food on his fork, dropping the utensil back on his plate.

“DID YOU…..” he started, and then turned to the Captain, “Did he do something to the food?”

“No Johnny, I did the cooking tonight.  He didn’t mess with it.” Marco replied.

“Then WHAT is he waiting for?”

“He is waiting for the tones to go off so he can watch you throw a fit…it amuses him,” Mike replied.

“Are you kidding me?” John answered, his dark eyes narrowing as he glared at the lineman.

Chet, pleased by the young man’s indignation, simply broadened his grin and shrugged his shoulders.

“Gage…what I can say?  It’s classic…I never get tired of seeing you get all pissed off.”

John picked up his forked and intentionally shoved the food in his mouth before replying,

“Kelly, I swear… you are such a head case.”

Chet’s grin faded as he watched the dark haired paramedic continue to eat and the station tones remained silent.

“Well, there is always plan B…” he thought as he waited. The Irishman was in full blown “phantom mode”.

John reached out to grab a drink and realized there was no glass in front of him.

“Who set the table and didn’t get me a glass?”

“So… I forgot a glass. What are you going to do…file a formal complaint with the Chief Engineer?” Chet snorted.

John pushed his chair back from the table after giving Chet yet another dirty look.

Ryan Caldwell grabbed his arm.

“Hey Johnny, I can get it…where are they at?”

“Thanks Ryan…top cabinet to the left of the sink.”

“Geez Caldwell,” Chet exclaimed, “You haven’t even been here twelve hours and Gage is already pulling rank having you wait on him hand and foot? He’s a big boy…let him get it himself.”

Ryan continued toward the cabinet and pulled it open.  The familiar sound of the phantom’s water bomb could be heard and then Ryan’s shout of surprise as the liquid hit him in the face.

Marco and Mike glanced at each other and tried, without success, to contain their smirks. Hank slammed his palms down hard on the table, which was a far better option than having them close in around the lineman’s throat… The thought however was exceedingly tempting.

Chet, keenly aware of his captain’s dangerous glare, suddenly became extremely interested in the food on his plate and ate like a starving orphan. The dark haired paramedic showed no reaction and casually reached across the table grabbing the carton of milk in one hand and his partner’s empty glass in another.  He filled the glass to the top and set the carton back down.

“Welcome to Station 51,” he replied without looking at his partner, and then brought the glass to his mouth taking a big gulp.

                                                                              ***            *** 

The crew managed to finish their meal, without further distractions from either the phantom or the station tones, and got the dishes done before they settled in to watch TV. It was a rare occurrence which they were grateful for. John did not join the other men, but instead headed for the door.

“I am gonna go enter our runs in the log book,” he told Ryan. The young man started to get up… “No, it’s fine… I can handle it,” he said as he walked towards the Captain’s office.

John actually wanted some time alone. His anger at Roy had dissipated over the course of the day. He also recognized that he never gave his friend the chance to talk or even offer up an explanation, which he acknowledged, had been the cause for some past misunderstandings.

“Man, you think I would have learned my lesson by now,” John said to himself.

 He sat in the chair and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. It had been a long day…and wasn’t even half over yet.  He thought about his new partner.  Ryan, he acknowledge, was actually a really good paramedic… but it wasn’t the same. 

He missed Roy and wanted him back at 51’s. His mind replayed the events that led up to the transfers trying to figure out how all of this had come about.  What had he missed?

John was still deep in thought as Captain Stanley entered the office a few moments later and shut the door.  The young man looked up at his Captain, and this time, Hank could plainly see his true feelings. 

“John,” the Captain began, “I want to know…what exactly did Roy tell you about all of this?” The young man took a deep breath and blew it out hard before answering. He knew he needed to come clean.

“Ok Cap…honestly, Roy didn’t tell me anything. I really uh, didn’t give him a chance. I found out from 45’s paramedics when I was at Rampart seeing Doctor Early.  They asked me how I felt about Roy being transferred to 36’s…and that Caldwell was excited to be coming to 51’s to be my new partner.  Cap, they said the Chief’s met with all of you on Wednesday.  Is that true?  Did both you and Roy know…and didn’t tell me? And…did Roy ask to be…transferred?”

Hank let out a long sigh. “Well THAT explains a lot,” he thought.  “No John, Roy did NOT ask for this transfer.  It was forced on him and he is not happy about it. I met with HQ on Wednesday before the party at McConnikee’s request.  At that time Roy knew nothing about it… I told him after you left.  I apologize, I probably should have sat down with both of you, but since Roy was the one being moved, I felt I should have had that conversation with him first.  Roy met with them on Thursday and apparently voiced his displeasure.  He wanted to be the one to tell you and drove over to your apartment straight from HQ but you weren’t home.”

John nodded. “Ok, but I still don’t understand why?”

Captain Stanley sat down in his chair and faced the young man.  He explained in detail the conversations that took place at Headquarters, and that Roy wanted him to come over to his house for breakfast after their shift so the two of them could talk.

“Thanks Cap,” he said as the older man got up to leave the office.

“No problem John… Until we get this figured out we are all just going to have to make the best of it.”

John nodded and turned his attention to start the work he initially had gone into the office to do. 

When it was done, he put the paperwork away and located the Department directory in the desk drawer. He scanned through it finally finding the number he was looking for.  He pulled the phone towards him and began to dial…

“Station 36…Captain Miller speaking.”

“Hi Captain Miller… this is John Gage, can I speak to Roy DeSoto?”

 He waited impatiently while he heard the Captain shout out to DeSoto that he had a call.  John was grateful they were not out on a run and hoped the tones would stay silent, at both stations, at least for the next few minutes so he could apologize to his friend.  He finally heard the familiar voice come on the other end of the phone and smiled.

“Hi ya Roy,” he said “so are we still on for breakfast tomorrow? I hope Jo is making French toast...”

“Hey Junior, I think that can be arranged. She knows it’s one of your favorites and doesn’t mind taking special requests…from you,” he laughed lightly.  He paused for a moment before continuing…

“Johnny, I’m really glad you called…we need to talk.”

Roy was relieved to not only hear his friend’s voice, but the tone in which he spoke indicated that whatever had prompted the obvious hostility towards him had been resolved.

“Roy, I owe you an apology. You tried to talk the other day and I wouldn’t listen…tomorrow I will be all ears.”

“Yea that will be the day,” Roy said chuckling, “and the only reason I might get a word in edgewise will be because your mouth is full of my wife’s French toast…and even that’s not a guarantee.” 

It was well known by all that a mouth full of food did little to prevent the dark haired paramedic from talking… much to everyone’s annoyance.

John couldn’t help himself and laughed out loud.  He curbed that particular behavior when he was out on a date with an incredibly hot chick.  But at the station…man, when you’re with the guys…you shouldn’t have to mind your manners. The added bonus was that he knew it seriously annoyed Chet…which was reason enough not to stop.

Roy continued talking and the young man’s attention was pulled back as the conversation continued on to more pressing matters.

 “Johnny, in all seriousness, we need to figure something out to get me back where I belong at 51’s. I don’t know if that will happen unless we find another solution to address HQ’s concerns.”

“We will Roy...we have to.”

John and Roy were each pulling into their respective stations to start their fourth shift with their new partners.  Both men were miserable. They found out that Beck was scheduled to be out on leave for probably another two weeks at least. Roy had been assessing Bradley, and so far, felt the man was as competent as any other newer paramedic he had evaluated.  

He was beginning to wonder.

McConnikee had always thought he and Johnny made a phenomenal team.  Hell, that was no great revelation… everyone noticed that and told them all the time.  They honestly couldn’t explain it themselves, nor did they try to.

If McConnikee was under the impression he could “create” that kind of bond between partners; that Roy and Johnny could somehow “teach” that to others…he was mistaken.

Roy didn’t disagree that maybe they needed to look more closely at who new paramedic’s were partnered with.  But he did not believe for one minute that putting them with him for a few months was going to be the magic answer McConnikee was looking for.

But how they were going to convince the Chief of that was a question he had no answer for. 

                                                                                  ***            ***                                  

Johnny had gone over to the DeSoto’s for dinner the night before their shift. The two men each grabbed a glass of lemonade and sat out on the deck afterwards to talk. They were both aggravated about the current situation, and no closer to a full proof resolution that would convince the brass to bring Roy back to 51’s. Roy had shared his thoughts about what he believed McConnikee might be trying to accomplish.

 Johnny shook his head. 

“That’s just crazy Roy!  Ya can try to teach people proper procedures, techniques, and how to improve their skills and all…but ya can’t teach people how to be “intuitive” partners…or friends.  Either ya click with someone…or ya don’t. End of story.”

“Perfect,” Roy commented. “You want to be the one to tell McConnikee he is crazy?”

John pondered that thought for a moment. His face brightened.

“Maybe we can get Cap to do it.  He is still on the preverbal hot seat for setting fire to the McConnikee’s hat back when Cap worked under him as an engineer…so he’s got nothing to lose.  He said he wanted to help...problem solved.”

The two friends laughed. They knew full well the mere mention of the “hat incident” sent the normally calm and commanding Captain Stanley into episodes of paranoia and hysteria.

The conversation turned as the two men discussed their current partners. 

“Bradley is a good guy”, Roy began “and I think he is going to do just fine as a paramedic. He definitely has the knowledge and ability. He just needs time and experience. He is also a real solid fireman and has good instincts on rescues. The issue I have right now is he is trying too hard to “click” as you phrased it. Instead of just concentrating on the run and letting things progress naturally, he tries to anticipate what I am going to do or what I need.  It’s driving me nuts because it’s affecting how we operate. Everything is choppy…it doesn’t flow. How about you?  How is Caldwell doing?”

John sighed and leaned back in his chair. The look on his face became suddenly serious…and there was something else…sadness.

Roy had seen the look enough times on the young man’s face to immediately recognize it.  He just didn’t know what had happened to put it there.

“Ryan,” Johnny began “is a natural paramedic. He really knows his stuff and can apply that knowledge in the field.  He’s confident…but not cocky or anything like that. We work well together…nothing earthshaking…just the runs go pretty smooth and I don’t have any concerns with him…in THAT regard.”

John paused and Roy turned to look at him. 

“I’m guessing that you have some other concerns though?” Roy asked. He had a sinking feeling that he had been right when McConnikee mentioned Johnny could help Caldwell in the area of rescues. He waited until his friend continued.

“Well obviously we have only worked a few shifts together so far, and a portion of one day was spent running drills. We mostly have had medic calls and a couple fires. On the rescues we have had…Roy, I just get a bad feelin. I don’t know… Maybe I got so used to trusting you had my back no matter what we were up against. I know it takes time to get used to a new partner and build that trust…but it’s more than that.”

“Spit it out Johnny. What is your gut feeling about him as a rescue man?”

“He’s not cut out for it,” the young man said bluntly. “He goes through the motions, but he is unsure of himself… I can sense his anxiety. It puts me on edge that I have to keep one eye on him while trying to keep focused on the victim and everything else. When we get a difficult rescue…Man, he looks at me like I have given him a bomb to diffuse…and provided him the instructions on how to do it in Chinese.”  

“Our last shift, we had an MVA…a car over a cliff. It came in about a half hour before we were supposed to get off duty.  With all the rain we had; the ground was muddy and really slippery. It was hard not only to get a decent foothold...but maintain it.  The car was unstable and rockin pretty bad.  We were afraid it was gonna go and needed to move fast.  Ryan and I rappelled down there with some lines to tie off the car so we could get to the victims.  I get my line secured and moved over to the driver’s side door.  The man was conscious and yellin at me to help them.  I’m trying to calm him down…waiting for Ryan to give me the go ahead before I get into the car.  He was still working on the damn line. He finally gets it secure and I get the driver’s side door open and start checking the guy out.  There is a little girl about three years old in the backseat and I tell Ryan to do a quick assessment…and get her out.  The car wasn’t gonna hold for long. I maneuver my victim into the stokes, which was hard to do cause he is fighting with me… He was so worried about his little girl. I kept reassuring him she was gonna be fine. 

I look in the backseat…and Ryan doesn’t have her out yet.  Marco and Chet take my victim up and I move over to see what the problem is. Ryan tells me her hand is trapped and he can’t get her free. She is hysterical, screaming for her daddy. I shimmy into the backseat through the other door. There was no time at this point to get the porta-power. I tried to free her with the bar from a jack I found on the floor board...it helped give me some leverage…but not enough. The vehicle started to lurched forward at an angle and I knew one of the lines broke and the car was startin to go…”

Johnny stopped talking.

He set his drink on the floor of the deck and got up out of the chair. He walked over and put both hands on the railing and took in a deep breath.  His friends blue eyes followed his movement.

“Roy,” he said in a hitched voice, “I had to break that baby’s wrist to get her out.” His body involuntarily flinched at the memory. “The scream of pain that came from her when I did it…is a sound I will never forget.”

“We barely cleared the car before it went crashing to the bottom of the canyon and exploded; almost taking the three of us with it.”

The dark haired paramedic turned back around and the anguish he was feeling was written all over his face.  Roy got up and went to his friend.

“Johnny, you had no choice…you saved her life.  The wrist will heal.”

“I know…I know…it’s just…MAN, you didn’t see the way she looked at me. She didn’t see me as the guy who saved her…but the guy who physically hurt her. In all my years doing this job…I have never had to resort to intentionally causing an injury like that. I can still remember hearing and feeling the bones snapping beneath my hands. I knew it had to be done.  There were no other options…and I didn’t hesitate. I just did it.”

He shook his head. “It’s AFTER the fact, when the rescue is over, that it all comes rushing back. You remember every stinkin detail…the sounds…the smells…the looks on people’s faces… and the emotions. It hits ya hard and knocks ya right on your ass. At least…that’s how it is for me.”

The older man looked at his friend with compassion and understanding. What John was describing was the very reason he was such an incredible rescue man.  He was not void of feeling or heartless in his actions.  He had the ability to put his own fears and emotions aside during an emergency and get the job done.  He allowed them to surface later… when it was safe to do so.

“Roy,” Johnny continued, “I don’t know what the hell Ryan was doin all that time I was working on the driver. If he recognized the child was trapped and needed equipment to get her out why didn’t he say something right away? The guys could have brought it down to him. I don’t know maybe we still wouldn’t have been able to free her in time…even with the porta-power. I guess we will never know.”

“Johnny, did you tell Cap? Does he know?

“He knows things went to shit down there but He doesn’t know all the details. We talked a bit when we got back to the station.  He is still waiting on getting Caldwell’s file.  Some mix up at Headquarters; they haven’t sent it to him yet and he is pretty mad. We are going to sit down tomorrow and go through all this.  He made it known that he has some serious concerns, and you know Cap… he wants answers.”

“John” Roy stated firmly, “you need to get this squared away with Cap immediately. If Ryan can’t do the job, he can’t be sending him in to back you up on a rescue. Caldwell is gonna get either you or a victim killed.”

“I know Roy…take it easy. I’m being careful…and I think Cap will have Chet or Marco step in if I tell him I don’t think Ryan can handle something. I didn’t mean to worry ya… It will be fine.” Johnny finished trying to reassure his friend.  He wondered... Maybe he made a mistake in telling Roy about his concerns. Johnny himself was still struggling with not having Roy’s back.  He remembered the promise he had made to Joanne…That he would always be there for Roy and would do everything he could to have him come home at the end of their shift. He was now powerless to keep that promise…and it was eating away at him.

If he knew telling McConnikee that he was crazy was all it would take to get Roy back to 51’s, John would have gotten in his Rover, driven to Headquarters, and marched straight into McConnikee’s office. He imagined the conversation in his head,

 “Chief, Roy and I were sitting out back on his deck talking while having a beer, (he didn’t want to say lemonade…wasn’t macho enough) and we have given this “paramedic mentoring” load of crap a lot of thought. We have come to the conclusion, with all due respect, that you are certifiably crazy. We don’t understand how the powers that be come up with these hair-brained ideas and simply put them into practice with no warning.  Are ya just going with the…”whatever crazy ass idea that drops into my cranium philosophy?” Cause from where we standing…that’s sure what it looks like.  Anyways, we would appreciate DeSoto being reinstated at 51’s where he belongs…  Thank you.

“Gage, leave your badge and ID on my desk. You are on a thirty day suspension for insubordination.”

“Yep…that would about sum it up. The rewards of honesty…” he thought with a knowing shake of his head.  

“Johnny?”

“Johnny?”

...”JOHN,” Roy finally shouted seeing that his friend had temporarily checked out.

“Huh?”

“What thoughts are running ramped in that head of yours?”

The young man started to open his mouth…

“Wait,” Roy stated, “I am rescinding that question…I really don’t want to know the answer to that.”

John shrugged his shoulders and walked back, dropping into the chair he had recently vacated.  He leaned over and picked up his glass of lemonade and took a long swallow.

                                                                                         ***                    ***          

The following morning the A-shift crew of 51’s was back on duty. Captain Stanley finished up with roll call and then retreated to his office. He picked up the phone to call over to station 45. He wanted to ask Caldwell’s previous Captain about the young man’s past performance and abilities on rescues.  After finding the Captain was out sick that day he slammed the phone down in annoyance. He had talked to John briefly after their last rescue and he was not at all happy with the way it went.

They had gotten lucky. Hank Stanley believed that if it weren’t for John Gage and his quick actions…the little girl in that vehicle would probably be dead; quite possibly both his paramedics as well.

His thoughts were interrupted as the tones sounded for a vehicle accident. He made his way to the podium as his men piled out through the door of the day room.  As he slid into the passenger seat of the big rig, he hoped the day would provide him with some time to debrief the incident with Gage and Caldwell.  He would take the squad out of service if necessary. This was too important and needed to be addressed sooner rather than later. He was not about to let a victim or a member of his crew be injured from incompetence. Hank was anxious to get his hands on Caldwell’s file and gain some information on his junior paramedic’s background.  He would drive to HQ himself and pull it out the secretary’s file cabinet himself if he had to…Enough was enough. 

At 0958 hours, the engine backed into the bay at the station house.  The ambulance had transported a couple of victims with minor injuries to the hospital. John advised he and Ryan would head into Rampart with them as they needed to get some supplies.

Captain Stanley made his way into the day room and helped himself to a small carton of milk. He took it with him and disappeared back into his office. He started to reach for the paperwork in his inbox when he saw that Caldwell’s file was now sitting on his desk.

“About time,” he muttered to himself.

 Stanley flipped open the file and began reading.  He noted the young man was a lineman for about a year and a half before putting in for the paramedic training. Since graduating, he had been at several different stations until a spot for a paramedic opened up at 45’s about four weeks ago.  He had also been out on an injury leave for two months after becoming a paramedic. Hank’s eyes continued to scan through the documents searching for the information he wanted to know. He went through the papers again and confirmed he hadn’t missed it. Hank closed the file and tossed it on his desk.  He immediately reached for the phone and began dialing…

“DAMN IT! HOW THE HELL…” Stanley’s tirade had started as soon as he hung up the phone. 

“Were McConnikee and Sorenson aware of this?” he thought as he reached for the phone yet again…he had two calls to make.  The first he rationalized would be to dispatch, and the second to Headquarters. Hank was interrupted mid dial as he heard John Gage call out a still alarm at Rampart requesting additional units and the police. The Captain launched into another round of choice words as he slammed the phone back into place. He pushed his tall frame out of the chair and ran out of his office. He reached the podium just as the tones went off.

Time 1032.

“LET’S MOVE IT…!” he yelled to his men.  The sound of chairs scrapping along the floor and running feet could be heard coming from the day room. 

The vehicles arrived at Rampart and Gage waited patiently as the ambulance maneuvered around and backed up to the Emergency room doors.  He followed suit, parking the truck in its usual spot.  John jumped out in time to see Ryan heading into the building with the victims.  There was a lot of activity going on as Ryan and John make their way through the hallway depositing their victims into separate treatment rooms. A loud noise erupted from the waiting room; a man dressed in a business suit and tie was yelling and screaming something about his family. 

The two paramedics walked over to the base station and Ryan began gathering the items they needed while Johnny helped himself to a cup of coffee.  He took a cautious sip and then leaned back against the counter. Ryan was subdued and the conversation between the two men was limited to the task at hand. The junior paramedic was fully aware of what was on his partner’s mind, and that he was going to be questioned regarding the run from their last shift.  It was not something he was looking forward to.

Johnny looked up and saw Dixie and Dr. Brackett exit one of the treatment rooms. They both glanced in his direction and he could tell by the looks on their faces that whoever they had been working on had not made it. The doctor and nurse were consummate professionals…but losing a patient was not something any of them ever got used to. The couple made their way over to the waiting room, and Johnny could see them begin talking to the man in the suit and tie. Dr. Brackett made a gesture with his arm indicating he wanted to take the man into his office. 

Seeing that Dix was busy, John spotted Nurse Betty Matthews walking rapidly towards them; her arms overflowing with charts.  She had a frantic look on her face, which was actually pretty normal…for her.

“Betty,” he asked, turning on the charm, “do you have a second to sign us out?”                

“I…no, I have a million things to do…You are going to have to find Dixie.”

“She’s in the middle of dealing with something right now, and I can’t interrupt her…Please Betty?  Here… let me hold that for ya,” John countered as he took the stack from her hands before she had a chance to protest any further.  He then flashed her winning grin.

The older nurse frowned at first, but then gave him a small smile in return.

“Ohhh…alright.”

She quickly scribbled her signature on the form and reclaimed the items in John’s hands.

“Thanks a lot Betty…really appreciate it.” The nurse nodded and continued on her way.  The dark haired paramedic turned to his partner…

“Ryan,” Johnny stated, “Beck is supposed to be released tomorrow to start his recuperation at home. I heard he had some complications from his head injury and they kept him awhile longer to make sure he was alright. I want to run up there real quick and say hello.”

“Ok,” he answered carrying the package of supplies. The two paramedics made their way to the elevator.

John brought the HT to his mouth “LA squad 51 is available from Rampart.”

“10-4  Squad 51.”

                                                                                         ***                 ***

Dr. Kelly Bracket closed the door to his office and invited the anxious man to sit down. His mouth twitched briefly before he began.

“Mr. Zimmerman…I am very sorry to have to tell you this…but your wife and children…did not survive the accident. Their injuries were too severe and there was nothing we could do to save them. We are so terribly sorry for your loss.”

The man stared back at them with a look of total disbelief on his face. 

Ed Zimmerman had been at work when a police dispatcher had called his office.  He was told that a construction truck had hit his wife’s vehicle. The dispatcher either would not…or could not elaborate on the well-being of his family, but indicated he needed to get to the hospital immediately. 

“No he thought…this cannot be happening. I just had breakfast with all of them a few hours ago. No…they are still alive,” He convinced himself.

The man verbalized the thoughts running through his head; his anxiety building with each word… “No…NO! They were brought here to the hospital…ALIVE! …Why are you standing here talking to me when you should be helping them?  What kind of a hospital is this?” he shouted.

Dixie, who was standing a few feet away from the doctor, spoke up gently, “Mr. Zimmerman, we know this has to be devastating and an incredible shock for you…but everything that was humanly possible was done to try and save your family. We are so sorry, but they did not survive. Please….is there someone we can call for you…to be with you?”

The man turned to face Dixie. She had a beautiful face and her long blond hair was pulled back and neatly placed under the white nurse’s cap. For some reason his eyes fell upon her hands and well manicured nails; hands that should be working on saving his loved ones. He exploded, “YOU! JUST SHUT UP! ...IF IT’S TRUE…AND THEY ARE GONE, IT’S BECAUSE YOU AND THIS… “DOCTOR” DIDN’T DO ENOUGH TO SAVE THEM. WHAT EXACTLY WERE YOU DOING IN THERE? WERE YOU TO BUSY PRIMPING AND FILING YOUR NAILS INSTEAD OF DOING YOUR JOB?”

Dixie recoiled at the man’s response.  She was used to dealing with distraught family members over the years, but she had never been talked to like this before.

Doctor Kelly Brackett understood the man was in shock and also in undeniable pain. But there was a definite “line” he drew when it came to his employees and how they were treated; and this man had just crossed it.

She was also more than just an “employee” to him. They had been involved romantically off and on for years, but never married. Neither one was quite sure why. They were both very dedicated to their professions and each had strong personalities that had clashed on more than one occasion. Dixie, in contrast to many of the people that dealt with man, was not intimidated in the slightest by his no nonsense and sometimes callous demeanor. 

If Dr. Kelly Brackett was being completely honest with himself, he would have freely admitted he was still very much in love with the head nurse. This man’s verbal attack on her had definitely caused his protective instincts to kick in, and that was going to be addressed…immediately.

Brackett reached his arm out and wrapped it around Dixie’s shoulders pulling her close to him. The act, along with the look on the doctor’s face, told the man this nurse was important to him.

“Mr. Zimmerman”, he began with an edge in his voice, “Again… I am very sorry with what you are being forced to deal with and I am trying to be understanding and empathetic; this is an unthinkable tragedy. However, if you have something to say, you will direct further comments to me.  I will not tolerate my staff being spoken to in that manner.”

“You think I care what you want or don’t want? ...Or what your “rules” are? But you want my comments…You got them!  I overheard that the driver of the other vehicle, or should I say the murderer, is going to be perfectly fine. Your other doctors and nurses here patched him up and he is going home to his loved ones. MY FAMILY…you people spend all of FIVE minutes in the room with them.  FIVE minutes! And you expect me to believe you did everything that was “humanely” possible?  For God’s sake!…That’s barely enough time for you to wash your damn hands much less perform these miraculous lifesaving acts you’re trying to convince me you did.” His face was red with rage.

“Mr. Zimmerman, your son had already passed away at the scene,” Brackett said quietly. “Your wife and daughter…We were working on them for more than five minutes…but I am not going to argue with you about that.  You have to understand…it did not come down to the amount of time spent, but the severity of their injuries,” the doctor reiterated.

Brackett looked at the man, “I am truly sorry.  I wish I could save every patient that comes through those Emergency room doors. If it were up to me I would. But…unfortunately it’s not.”

There was a very long pause.  The only sound that filled the room was the man’s rapid, heavy breathing.

“I want to see them…” he finally stated. He seemed to be slowly calming down and regaining some composure.

“Mr. Zimmerman…” The doctor began.

“I have a right to see them….I want to see them.” The anger in the man’s eyes was gone…and replaced with a vacant empty gaze.

Kelly Brackett looked at Dixie and she nodded. 

“Ok…we will take you to them,” the doctor replied softly.

He had anticipated this request and had instructed the nurses to make the victims as “presentable” as possible and cover up any extensive injuries. He knew this would be difficult enough for the poor man without having to see the trauma his family members had sustained as well.

Doctor Brackett opened the door to his office and permitted the man to exit first, followed by the head nurse.

Dixie walked rapidly away and checked in with her nurses to confirm the doctor’s orders had been followed. She gave an affirmative nod in Brackett’s direction as they reached treatment room one. Behind it laid the man’s son. He began to shake as the door was pushed open and the two men entered the room.

Dixie waited in the hallway outside of treatment room five where both the man’s daughter and wife had been moved to. She saw Bracket and Mr. Zimmerman exit a short time later and make their way towards her. Brackett once again placed his hand affectionately on Dixie’s right shoulder guiding her in as the three of them entered the room.

His wife and daughter each lay on a table covered in clean white sheets.  Other than the very pale color of their skin and some cuts…they could have simply been sleeping.  But they were not sleeping…they were dead.  The man’s prior thoughts resurfaced with vengeance; the two “living” professionals in the room with him had not done their best.

They had lied.

                                                                      ***     ***                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Gage and Caldwell had kept their visit with the injured paramedic brief.  They were glad to see Beck was doing better and confirmed he would be going home the following day.  Johnny commiserated with Beck about the hospital stay drawing on his vast knowledge and experience regarding the topic. Beck chuckled as one of the floor nurses entered the room and greeted Johnny by name. 

“Well, well, well... glad to finally see you standing next to a hospital bed instead of lying in one,” the red-headed woman replied as a slow smile crept across her face.  The nurse handed her patient his medication and gave John a wink in his direction as she brushed passed him on her way out. Caldwell’s eyes followed the petite nurse until the door closed behind her.

“Who was that?” He asked.

“No clue whatsoever,” the dark haired paramedic replied shaking his head.

Beck and Caldwell stared at the young man and started laughing.

“Yea Gage…well, it seems she SURE remembered you…you must have made QUITE the impression!” Beck responded as he mimicked the nurse’s actions by giving John a sly wink.

John’s face flushed crimson in embarrassment as he answered “…that’s what I’m afraid of.”

 He glanced at his watch and indicated to his partner that they needed to get back to the station. Caldwell’s face took on a somber look and he nodded his head, knowing his reprieve was quickly coming to an end. John shook Beck’s hand and wished him a speedy recovery and the two partners walked across the room to leave.  As Johnny yanked the door open he thought about his last remark.  His words were sincere; however he couldn’t negate the fact that he had another reason for wanting the man back to full duty. The faster the injured paramedic returned to the squad, the sooner Roy might be heading back to 51’s.  Still, they needed to address the issue that brought about this mess in the first place…and find a solution…fast.

The elevator bumped slightly as they reached the ground floor. John and Ryan waited patiently as the doors opened and they allowed an elderly couple to exit first. The two men stepped out and proceeded down the hallway of the Emergency room. Johnny saw Dixie standing outside treatment room five waiting as Brackett approached with the man he recognized from the waiting room. He did not stop to talk to her as he normally would have, knowing they were still dealing with the earlier situation. 

John’s eyes met hers. In that look he conveyed the understanding and empathy for having to go through the difficult task. It was probably the hardest part of their jobs.

The two paramedics continued on as they made their way towards the exit. John spied one of the nurses he had been trying to get a date with for the past couple of weeks.  She was working at the reception desk. He motioned to Caldwell that he would be right back and walked over to chat with the dark haired beauty. Ryan rolled his eyes… Gage definitely had a reputation with the ladies. He watched the girl smile as she flirted with his partner.  A few minutes later John wandered back and they finally made their way out the doors, completely unaware of the events that were about to unfold.

Ed Zimmerman had been holding his wife’s lifeless hand, caressing it gently. He now relinquished his hold, laying it with great tenderness back onto the table. He turned away slowly taking a couple of small steps; he couldn’t bare to look at them any longer.  Brackett, who had been waiting by the door, turned and pulled it open.  Dixie, seeing the man was finished, also turned and started to follow the doctor out. Neither one had noticed the dangerous look now plainly evident on the man’s face.  A large scalpel had been left laying, amongst other items, on a tray stand.  Ed Zimmerman’s dark and troubled eyes fell upon the instrument, and the fingers of his right hand closed tightly around it as he passed.

He was beyond caring. 

In three long strides he came up behind the unsuspecting nurse. He roughly grabbed Dixie by the back of her long hair and pulled hard. The action caused her head to jerk back violently as he brought the scalpel to her throat. Dixie let out a scream of surprise and fear, as Zimmerman pushed her into the hallway. She felt the blade come to rest on her skin right on top of the jugular vein.

She froze. 

Brackett turned around swiftly, startled by the sudden noise. His eyes widened in shock at the sight before him. His first reaction was to save Dixie, and he took a single step forward.  Zimmerman tightened his grip on the nurse.

“Stop right there…and don’t come any closer,” he yelled.

Brackett stopped in his tracks and tried to get control of his voice.

“Mr. Zimmerman…please, put the scalpel down. You don’t want to do this.”

“Really Doctor? Now you’re an expert on what I want and don’t want? I want my family back… But since I can’t have that, I will have to settle for something else… It’s all so easy for you huh?  Throw a few heartfelt words at a grieving family member, climb into your expensive car, and head home for a nice meal and a couple drinks.  It’s just all in a day’s work.”

“Well…NOT this time,” the man said backing up making his way towards the elevator with Dixie firmly in tow. “TODAY, you can feel what it is like to lose someone you care deeply about. I have nothing left to live for. So why don’t you step outside and you can send a special farewell wave to your nurse-friend here on our decent…from the rooftop.”  He made his last remark as the doors to the elevator slid close.

Brackett stood among the other hospital staff and bystanders in complete astonishment at what had just happened. He snapped back quickly and turned to Dr. Mike Morton, the young black Intern who was standing by the base station.

“MIKE, CALL THE POLICE!” he yelled as he began running for the exit. He hoped like hell Gage and his partner were still in the parking lot. As he cleared the doors he saw the squad and felt a small sense of relief. Caldwell had just finished putting away the supplies and Johnny was opening the driver’s door preparing to climb in.  Brackett quickly made his way forward as the dark haired paramedic glanced over at him.  One look at the doctor’s face told the young man something was seriously wrong.

                                                                               ***            ***

A TV reporter from one of the local news stations had been in the ER and witnessed the entire incident. He had just been released from acquiring some stitches to his hand, and was previously more than a little irritated at having to spend the last several hours in the Emergency room. The annoyance and stitches were now both forgotten as the reporter ran to the nearest pay phone. He deposited his dime and punched in the number to the station. He shuffled his feet impatiently until a voice answered on the other end.

“This is Kevin… listen to me! Get a camera and crew down to Rampart hospital…NOW! Big story! A crazy guy took a nurse hostage.  He took her up to the roof…and he is going to jump and take her with him. HURRY!

The man slammed the phone down and raced outside along with a dozen other people. His eyes shot upwards scanning the rooftop for signs of the hostage taker and his victim.

                                                                                     ***               ***           

Sensing something was wrong; Caldwell walked around the back of the squad and came up behind the doctor. He listened intently as Brackett rapidly filled Gage in on what had just happened.  The paramedic immediately shut the door of the squad and reached down to snag the HT which had been hanging from his belt.  He brought it to his mouth...

“LA this is Squad 51… we have a still alarm at Rampart General. A subject has taken a nurse hostage and is threatening to jump off the roof and take the victim with him. He has a scalpel held to her throat… Respond the police and additional units.”

“10-4 Squad 51,” Sam Lanier acknowledged and set off the tones.

“LA…Engine 51…Engine 36…and Squad 10 in place of Squad 36…assist Squad 51 at Rampart General Hospital… suicidal subject on the roof with a hostage…Police have been notified and are enroute…time out 1032.”

DeSoto and Bradley were just finishing up a call where a young boy had fallen off his bike.  He had sustained some minor scrapes and cuts.  The mother had refused transport and insisted she would follow up with her own doctor.  Roy heard the call at Rampart go out and quickly brought the HT to his mouth.  There was no way they were not going responding on this call.

“LA….Squad 36…we are clear our scene and available to respond with Engine 36 to Rampart.”

“10-4 Squad 36.  LA …Squad 10 cancel.”

The paramedics ran back to their vehicle and shoved the biophone and drug box into the side compartment. Roy jumped into the driver seat, started the engine, and pulled away from the curb.  Bradley hit the lights and siren and the blond haired paramedic tightly gripped the steering wheel as he swerved in and out of traffic. 

His thoughts went back to the previous night and the conversation he had with his friend about Caldwell. Moreover, John’s remarks… “I know Roy…take it easy. I’m being careful…and I think Cap will have Chet or Marco step in if I tell him I don’t think Ryan can handle something. I didn’t mean to worry ya... It will be fine…” 

It will be fine…

Roy’s last comment to his friend quickly followed, along with a chill that shot straight up his spine…“you need to get this squared away with Cap immediately. If Ryan can’t do the job, he can’t be sending him in to back you up on a rescue. Caldwell is gonna get either you or a victim killed.”

Roy knew John would not be able to wait for the responding units; he would have to act.   “Hang in there Junior,” he thought as he encouraged the squad to go faster “…and Caldwell…you damn well better be watching out for my partner.”

Jack Bradley glanced to his left and saw the uncharacteristic signs of anxiety on his normally calm and easygoing partner’s face. Bradley knew those feelings would not be present without a very good reason.  He looked back at the road in front of him…the sense of urgency starting to edge into his thoughts as well…only he had no idea why.

                                                                             ***            ***            

 John opened a compartment door and reached in retrieving his turnout coat and gloves. He threw the coat on and rapidly buckled it up, cramming the gloves into a side pocket.  He spied his helmet hanging inside the squad and consciously makes the decision to leave it.  He knew he was going to get a serious butt-chewing from his Captain…but he had his reasons.  The paramedic opened another door and withdrew a couple of safety belts and two ropes.  Ryan stood motionless with the “you have just given me a bomb to diffuse” look upon his face that John had described to Roy.  

“Ryan…RYAN! We gotta get up there!” he stated firmly trying to snap that young man out of his fog and encourage him to start moving.

“Johnny…wait…wwhat what are we going to do? Isn’t this something the police handle...shouldn’t we wait?”  Bracket’s jaw drops and can’t get the string of explicative words out before John rounds on his partner.

“WAIT? ARE YOU CRAZY? I’ll TELL ya exactly what we are going to do as he slammed the doors shut with incredible force. WE are going to get up on top of that roof as fast as we can and do WHATEVER it takes to save the best DAMN ER Nurse it has ever been my honor to know.”

Bracket’s facial expression relaxed as he listened to Gage take charge of the situation. The admiration for the young man he once thought of as a simple “hose jockey” was overpowering.  He had been so off base with his initial assessment of John Gage, he almost felt guilty. Brackett knew that both Johnny and Roy had faced situations like this before. If anyone could save Dixie, it was the dark haired paramedic standing before him. John turned to face Brackett.  The older man felt helpless and was trying hard to keep his anxiety, and fear for Dixie’s life, under control. They were feelings the confident and somewhat cocky doctor did not had much experience with. He stared directly into John’s dark brown eyes expecting to see signs of similar emotions.

He didn’t...In fact he had never seen a look of such fierce determination on the young man’s face before.

John was in total control.

“Doc,” he said in a promising voice… “I won’t let anything happen to Dixie.” With that, he gave Ryan a hard look and said,

“Let’s go”

“But Johnny, we…we’re not negotiators!” the junior paramedic replied.

John Gage started moving to the ER doors pushing his partner ahead of him as he spit the words out. “Negotiating is talking and connecting with people who are scared or in crisis. That is a big PART of doing rescues. Calming people down and getting them to follow your directives. And right now, in case you haven’t noticed, we’re all Dixie’s got.”

They reached the elevator doors once again. “Caldwell”, John spoke in a commanding voice, “I need to TRUST that you have my back. Now get your head in the game…YOU GOT ME!”

“Yes,” he replied. The tenor of the response did not instill confidence in the senior partner.

“SHIT,” John muttered under his breath.  The situation was extremely dangerous, unpredictable, and the stakes were high.  There would be no do-over’s… and the senior paramedic had the added concern that the man at his side was a liability…not an asset. 

John advised Dispatch that they were heading up top and to have some men standing by the door on the roof.  As much as he wanted his crew right there with him, he does not want them to come through the door until he can assess the situation. John is unsure if the presence of more people is going to set the guy off and put Dixie in even greater jeopardy. He won’t risk it.

As they climb into the elevator and start their ascent, Johnny’s hands move quickly as he places a safety belt around his waist and attached the spare one into the hook.  He takes the end of one rope and fastens it to his belt. He double checks his work; testing everything to make sure it is secure. His eyes and hands travel over the ropes doing a quick assessment. Ryan watches his partner with wary eyes unsure what exactly what John has planned. 

They reach the top and the elevator doors open.  There is small landing and then another access door that leads out onto the roof.

John pauses briefly at the door knowing they don’t have much time.

“Ok Ryan,” he stated “we’re gonna have to see exactly where he has her. We need to move real slow and easy…understand? No sudden movements… I am going to try and talk to him. If they are near or on the ledge, this could turn bad...quickly. You need to be ready.”

“Ready? Ready for what?” he whispers.

Johnny ignored the question and removed the coil of rope from his shoulder that he had already attached to his belt. He continues to talk rapidly as he feeds out the desired amount of rope handing the rest to his partner. “LISTEN…You need to find something to tie my line off to…leaving me about forty feet of slack; indicating the calculated amount he was holding in his right hand.  Then gather the slack back up, and slowly feed it out as I make my way closer to them. You have to stay FOCUSED AND ALERT. Depending on what happens, you need to be ready to either pull the line back in or…let the slack go.” he emphasized.

“What! ...Why?”

“Because…”

“If that man is planning on taking one of my best girls over the edge…I won’t be far behind,” he said in a promising voice.

Ryan’s face turned white as a sheet.

“You...you can’t be SERIOUS!” Ryan said incredulously.

“This second line is Dixie’s. IF we go over, you need to tell Cap to get in here on the double and have the guys get on her line. Then drop the other end down to me immediately so I can tie her off separately.”

John brought the handy talkie to his mouth “Engine 51…HT 51” he called softly.

“Go ahead HT 51,” Stanley replied.

“We’re on the roof. I’m gonna make contact with him and try and talk him out of this.”

HT 51 from Engine 51…Gage, is there any way you can wait for us to get there?”

“No…we can’t wait.  He is already on the roof with Dixie.”

“Cap?” John added.

“Go ahead”

“When you do get here…Be ready.” He emphasized.

“10-4 John… The police have arrived and all of us are on our way up.  We will be ready and waiting Pal,” Hank assured him. He knew without a doubt the young man did not feel confident in his partner’s abilities to deal with this situation.  But they had no choice…There was no time to waste.

Captain Stanley swallowed hard.  He knew how important Dixie was to John. He also knew the risks the young paramedic took for complete strangers would be nothing compared to what he would do for someone he cared for.  John had a special talent for talking to people in crisis and calming them down. Hank hoped fervently that he could connect with this man and prevent a tragedy from happening.

                                                                                         ***               ***

Gage pushed open the door leading to roof… Before stepping through he turned around to face his partner.

“And to answer your previous question…Yes, I’m dead serious.” He reached out and handed Ryan the HT before continuing.  “You are gonna have to communicate with Dispatch and the Cap,” he said as he caught a glimpse of the man with Dixie standing on top of the ledge “…Cause I’m gonna be a little preoccupied.”

John scanned the rooftop and immediately identified a good place to secure his line. He made a pointing gesture to communicate what he wanted.  Ryan shrugged questioningly.  He repeated the motion until Ryan indicated he understood.  The dark haired paramedic seethed in frustration as Ryan moved into position to start his task. John quietly dropped the other rope from his shoulder onto the ground as he cautiously moved towards the two figures who had yet to notice him.

John could hear the stressed man screaming and crying uncontrollably at Dixie. She made several attempts to try and calm him down but it only further agitated him.  

The people gathered below held their breaths as they could now see the man and woman standing precariously on top of the ledge. The police had blocked off the area and groaned as they see a TV camera crew pull up and fly into action setting up their equipment. 

“Great, just what we need,” one of the officers commented. 

John Gage took a deep breath and slowly made his presence known. The man immediately became alarmed.

“Don’t come any closer or I swear I will kill her right here…right now!”

John stopped and put up his hands.

“Ok…Ok…hey man, I just want to talk to ya. Take it easy…please don’t hurt the lady,” John said soothingly.

He tries to give Dixie a reassuring look but can tell she is absolutely terrified.

“Talk?  You want to talk? What good is that?  There is NOTHING left to talk about…my wife…my son…my daughter….ARE DEAD! My family is GONE because a certain doctor and nurse didn’t try hard enough to save them! Do you… Mr. Fireman…have ANY IDEA WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE?” he screamed.

John looked directly at the man’s face and waited for the right moment; until their eyes were locked together before responding… “Yes, unfortunately I know exactly what it feels like to lose the people you love.”  His own sadness and heartache were clearly evident in his voice. The man’s eyes did not waver from the paramedic’s face. 

Silence followed…and even though no words were spoken…much was being communicated.

John Gage knew it was important that the man didn’t just hear his words but saw and felt his pain as well. It had the effect he was hoping for. The mutual anguish, one fresh and raw, the other a hard painful memory, created a bond between the captor and rescuer.  The distraught man could plainly see it in the sensitive brown eyes. This was not a ploy or some tactic.  The fireman before him did understand how he was feeling. John sensed the tension had lessened and advanced very slowly.  The man did not halt his progress.

“What’s your name?”

“Ed”

“My name is John.”

He stopped a few feet away. “I lost both my parents when I was only a kid. I didn’t have any brothers or sisters. They, my mom and dad, were everything to me. I never thought I could hurt so badly in my entire life. The pain was… unbearable. People kept telling me that everything was going to be ok…that “time heals all wounds.”

“I am not going to try and offer you those same “words of comfort” and the standard line of “things are going to get better”…Because honestly, at THAT particular moment in my life, when I found out they were gone, it was the last thing I wanted to hear. I hated everything…and everyone.  I truly wanted other people around me to know… and experience for themselves the excruciating pain and indescribable loss I was feeling. How else could they even begin to understand?”

Ed nodded his head sadly.

“That did change…eventually, but I remember the words were wasted on me at the time.  I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I didn’t want their words of encouragement or hope.  I wanted my family back…period.”

“Ed, you do have every right to feel confused, sad, angry and even filled with hate and rage.”

“I did.”

“But you don’t have the right to ACT on those emotions and destroy or TAKE other people’s lives. Do you understand?  I promise you…it won’t change the past…it won’t bring the justice you feel you deserve…it won’t ease your pain…and it won’t bring back the people you love.” He paused letting the words sink in.

“I have known the woman standing next to you and the doctor that tried to save your family for over five years.  They are the most talented and dedicated people I know in this business.  In fact they have saved my life many times.”

“Your loved ones did not die because these people did not care or did not try hard enough. You have to believe that…I am telling you the God’s honest truth.”

John paused again…the man had tears running down his face. He dropped the scalpel in his hand before bringing his arm up to wipe the tears away. The paramedic briefly glanced at Dixie encouraging her to stay quiet and calm.

“Ed, I can’t explain why these kinds of things happen or why some of us have to endure such unthinkable sorrow. It doesn’t seem fair… But don’t let even more senseless tragedy occur today; tragedy that you can prevent right now. Please…come down off the ledge.” 

“John,” the man cried “It hurts SO much…I can’t believe they are gone! My wife…she…she asked me to take off work today. She wanted me to go with them to the zoo. I I told her no…I had a meeting. Can you believe it? A stupid meeting! I should have died with my family!  I shouldn’t be alive…do you understand? Maybe if I had been driving, I could have even avoided this. It’s my fault…OH DEAR GOD!

“Ed, listen to me… It is NOT your fault… It was an accident. I know that it is really hard to grasp right now and shouldering the blame seems justified...but it’s not. I understand the guilty feelings and “what ifs” that are running through your mind.  I survived through the pain…and you can do it too. I am not gonna lie…it‘s hard as hell…but not impossible. I can help you….please, let me help you.”

“It just doesn’t seem…real. I feel like I am stuck in some horrific nightmare that I can’t wake up from,” Ed choked out. “I…I can’t even breath.  I don’t even want to anymore!  Not without them,” he whispered sadly.

 “Not…without…them,” he stated firmly.

John immediately picked up on the change in the man’s demeanor and readied himself. He knew it was going to happen; the man had made his decision.  Ed stared hard into John’s eyes, apologizing for not being strong enough to handle the pain, before his feet left the ground. He had intended on releasing Dixie, letting her live, but his arm let go too late. As the man disappeared over the side, Dixie’s balance was compromised as she teetered dangerously back and forth… A scream ripped through the air.

John reacted instinctively. He lunged forward with outstretched arms to grab his favorite nurse. He was within inches of her when the slack suddenly tighten and he realized he was being propelled backwards.

“JOHNNNNY?!” Dixie screamed as she swatted with her hands in the air trying to reach him.  With horror she watched as he began to move away from her as she continued to fall backwards.

John realized what was happening. DAMN IT! There was no other way...

“LET GO…DO IT!!!” he shouted at his partner.

He felt the slack suddenly release and in one swift motion, his feet landed on the ledge and immediately pushed off hard, launching himself into the air. His arms closed in around Dixie’s waist, and he pulled her in, hugging her tight to his body; his hands locked in a death grip.  To those watching from below, it looked like John had just made a mid air tackle.

“HOLD ON,” he commanded as they fell.  He was preparing for the incredible jolt his body would be subjected to when the slack ran out. He prayed the impact wouldn’t cause him to lose his grip. He felt the nurse’s arms and legs instantly wrapped around his neck and body as she clung to him for dear life.

After what seem like an eternity the line ran out.  The pain to his body from the abrupt stop to their free fall was agonizing. They swung around haphazardly causing John’s back to strike repeatedly against the side of the building. He groaned with each hit…but stubbornly held on. 

“Dixie, I’ve gotcha…but I don’t know how long I can hang on. Can you reach down… grab the extra safety belt… and get it around your waist?” He panted.

The last thing in the world Dixie McCall felt like doing was releasing the vice like grip she had on the paramedic… But she trusted John. She let go, and with her left hand shaking uncontrollably, she tried to locate the belt. 

It was out of her reach.

She had never been so scared in her life.

“Johnny…I can’t reach it!”

He couldn’t drop her…he promised Bracket. He tried to tighten his grip, but the rest of his body wouldn’t listen to his mind…or his heart.

If she couldn’t do it…he would have to.

“It’s ok Dix…I will do it.  But you are going to have to hold on as tight as you can, cause I am going to have to let you go for a minute.”

He felt her squeeze so tight it hurt. He winced slightly at the pain, but pushed it from his mind.

“Ok…are you ready?” he asked.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Good girl.”

John released her and his hand closed in around the belt removing it from his hook. He pushed one end along her stomach in between their bodies and then brought it around to her back.  His practiced hands found the two straps which he rapidly cinched and secured the buckles. His arms flew back around her in a protective hold.

“It will be alright Dix…I would never let anything happen to you,” he said in a strained voice.

John looked back up to the roof… He saw his Captain leaning over the edge.

“DROP THE SECOND LINE,” he shouted.

The rope appeared before him seconds later. He warned Dixie to hold on again as he one-handedly reached for the line and snapped the carabineer securely onto her belt.

“YOU GOT HER? John yelled upward.

His body was battered and tired, but John Gage wasn’t going to release his hold until he was absolutely sure Dixie was safe.

“YEA PAL, WE GOT HER!” came the voice of his Captain.

John allowed himself to relax a little knowing that she was tied off and secure on her own line.  He had hung on the end of a rope more times than he could remember, both in his personal life and obviously in his work.  It was completely second nature to him…but for today…he was more than ready to get his boots on solid ground.

“Dixie,” he said. “You need to listen to me again, and do exactly what I say. You can let go now…take both your hands and hold onto the line above your head.”

She looked at him warily. “Johnny...”

“You can do it…one hand at a time now…nice and easy,” He coaxed reassuringly.

She drew in a breath and slowly started to comply with his directions.

                                                                                       ***           ***

John suddenly tensed for a moment, sensing something was wrong with his line. It was subtle…but he felt it.

He knew he needed to get Dixie completely free from him.  If it broke he couldn’t have her trying to support him…and he wouldn’t risk linking into her hook.

“Dix, I want you to close your eyes, and promise me you won’t open them again until you are safe,” he said quickly.

“Why?”

“Because…because you have been through a lot… and I think it would help you to keep your eyes shut on your way up. Please, just listen to me…OK?”

Dixie nodded her head.  She was actually completely exhausted, both mentally and physically, and just wanted the ordeal to be over with.

 “Cap,” he yelled… Get her out of here!”

Seconds later Dixie was being hauled up the side of the building.  John watched her progress and his eyes shifted over to his line.  He tried to locate the problem, but couldn’t see anything wrong. 

“Had he imagined it?”

Then, he felt the movement again.  “Damn it…”

“CAP,” he yelled again. “MY LINE…” was all John Gage managed to get out.                          

Captain Stanley, his men, and Vince had burst through the door when they heard over the HT the man had jumped.  They saw Ryan holding the line with Gage at the end of it shouting,

“LET GO…DO IT” 

Ryan, recalling his partner’s instructions, moved to get the rope that Gage had left on the ground.

“Cap,” he called out, “Johnny said that if they went over he wanted a second line lowered down to tie Dixie off separately.”

Captain Stanley nodded and Ryan hurried towards the edge of the roof and began lowering the line.

“Boys, Gage is tied off…Move over and put some muscle on Dixie’s line.  Once she is safe, we can haul up John,” the captain directed.

The men nodded and followed their Captain’s instructions. Marco anchored the new line around his waist while Chet and Mike each gripped a section of rope and got set.

Cap heard John call up that Dixie was ready and they started to bring her up first.

He directed his men as he monitored Dixie’s ascent…and then he heard the desperate words come from John’s mouth. 

Words that made his heart pound hard in his chest…

”My line…”

He quickly scanned John’s rope but couldn’t see a problem…at first.

His eyes followed it back to the source and as he did so, he watched in horror as the knot started to come untied. The weight of his paramedic at the other end caused the rope to disappear over the ledge at an alarming pace.

The blood drained from Hank Stanley’s face. “No…Oh God no…” he pleaded.

                                                                            ***            ***  

McConnikee was in Chief Sorenson’s office when a dispatcher coming off his break told them about the incident at Rampart being televised.  Both men immediately rose out of their chairs and hurried into the Conference room, switching on the television. Their eyes, as well as every other spectator, were trained on the two people on the ledge. Their mouths dropped as they saw the man jump and the woman clearly struggling to keep her balance. Their eyes took in the dark haired firefighter reaching for the woman.

The reporter on the scene kept a steady flow of commentary going as the scene unfolded before them.

“Oh dear Lord!” he gasped as the man jumped.

“OH…MY…GOD!!” the reporter shouted as they saw the woman fall and the firefighter suddenly become airborne… catching her before she plummeted to the ground below.

The camera followed their fall and stayed clearly focused on the two individuals who now swung violently back and forth from the end of the rope. They watched in awe as the fireman secured the safety belt around his victim, attached her to a second line, and was brought back up to safety. Sorenson and McConnikee instantly recognized the firefighter as John Gage. They stared fixated at the screen and marveled at the rescue they had just witnessed. They began to relax as they saw the victim nearing the top of the ledge.

The people at the scene collectively breathed a sigh of relief. The camera man panned his shot back out so the viewing audience could see the victim being pulled to safely, as well as the fireman waiting patiently below.  The camera was about to focus back in on fireman to get a close up of his ascent…just as his line let go. The Chief’s saw Gage’s body suddenly disappear from the bottom of the TV screen.  The man attempted to track the rapid decent; however the camera didn’t catch up with fireman until he had already come to a rest. John Gage’s body remained motionless.

Sorenson and McConnikee felt their hearts drop into their shoes. They stared at the still form, doubting very much the paramedic could have survived falling several stories.  They got up and shut off the TV.  The Chief’s exited the conference room and walked into their separate offices.  They grabbed their hats and met in the hallway; McConnikee had his car keys in his hand. 

“I’ll drive,” he said, as Sorenson simply nodded his head. The two men headed out the door and climbed into the marked vehicle. McConnikee backed out and headed towards Rampart Hospital.

                                                                                         ***            ***

“GET GAGE’S LINE!!” the Captain shouted towards Vince and Ryan as his hands reached down and closed in around Dixie’s arm. Vince leaped into action at Hanks command.  He screamed in agony a second later as the rope ripped through his bare hands, burning the skin off leaving it raw.  Ryan jumped on next, the momentum simply dragging him forward as Vince was forced to let go. The line continued its downward decent as Stanley heaved Dixie over the side in one rapid motion. Turning, he pounced on John’s runaway line while simultaneously yelling…

“CLEAR” 

Chet, Marco, and Mike were completely helpless.  They couldn’t release Dixie’s line until she was safe.  They watched with horror in their eyes as their crewmates line ran free…and he fell to his death. The three firemen waited anxiously and reached out for John’s line as soon as the word left their superior’s mouth.  A couple seconds later it abruptly stopped. 

Hank knew why.

“Johnny,” Dixie cried softly… her hands covered her mouth in despair.

Hank advised his men to maintain their position as he released his hold and helped Dixie to her feet.  The crew stood frozen in place as they heard frantic voices coming from the ground below.

“Dixie, are you ok?” Hank managed to ask.

She couldn’t speak…she simply gave a small nod.

Hank moved away from her and placed his hands on the ledge… He swallowed hard and peered over.

He saw a yellow blanket on the pavement covering the body beneath it. 

His attention shifted to the right about ten feet and his eyes came upon the still form of his paramedic. John had come to rest on a concrete overhang about twenty-five feet from the ground. He was face down and his left arm and leg hung perilously over the side, threatening to take him the rest of the way. 

Stanley heard the Captain of 36 ordering his men to get a ladder from the rig as he saw Dr. Morton come racing towards Brackett with several nurses and a gurney with supplies in tow.

DeSoto and Bradley stood directly below Johnny looking up.  Roy paced anxiously back and forth waiting for the ladder to be brought.  It was no sooner in place and he hit it hard reaching his friend in seconds. Bradley was right behind him.

Stanley, seeing the unstable position John was in, ordered his men to stay on his line preventing the young man from slipping and falling the additional distance. He waited as he observed Roy reach for John’s neck…knowing what he was doing.  Roy pulled his hand away and moved to check the rest of his body. Hank gave a sigh of relief. He knew that meant at least his young crew member was still alive. Roy leaned over the side and yelled down to the men standing on the ground below.  They moved to throw a c-collar and guideline into the stokes; and then dragged it up the ladder to the waiting paramedics. 

Bradley applied the cervical collar around John’s neck before they gently logged rolled him into the stokes.  Roy untied the line attached to the safety belt.  He looked at it in disgust.

A quick glance at John’s face showed numerous scrapes, a contusion on the right side of his forehead, and he was bleeding profusely from the nose. Roy unhooked the turnout coat, ripped open his blue uniform shirt, and cut away his t-shirt. He noted John was having increased difficulty moving air in and out, and he saw the bruising already beginning to form from the blunt trauma caused by the fall.  He carefully moved his hands along John’s ribs and felt them shift; his chest was also hyper-expanded.

“Jack, stabilize his head for me.” Roy demanded.

Jack did as he was told as he watched the senior paramedic carefully remove the c-collar.

Roy confirmed what he was afraid of.  John’s trachea was deviated….he was exhibiting signs of a tension pneumothorax. 

He quickly replaced the c-collar and yelled down to Brackett, who was standing below, to report his findings.

“Get him down here NOW!” Brackett ordered.

“Engine 51 from HT 36.”

“Go ahead.”

“Cap, we need to get him down right now!” Roy spoke fast. “Can you send us the other line so we can rig the stokes; then you guys can lower him?”

“Use the line off his belt,” Captain Stanley instructed.

Roy looked at the HT in disbelief… Had Cap lost his mind?  His friend almost fell to his death because of the defective line.

Hank knew exactly what Roy was thinking but there was no time to waste on a drawn out explanation.

“ROY…USE THE LINE…THAT’S AN ORDER,” Hank commanded.

Roy fell back on the faith and trust he had in his former Captain.

“10-4,” he replied as Bradley shook his head clearly thinking it was a bad idea.

The two paramedics moved quickly snapping the line into place. Bradley attached the guideline and heaved it over the side to the waiting men below, as Roy noticed Johnny’s stomach and chest had become still.

“Doc…he’s stopped breathing!”

Roy snatched the HT “Cap, were ready…take him down!

The stokes, carrying the non breathing paramedic, was pushed over the side and lowered with lightening speed.

The doctor and his team converged on the young man before he even reached the ground. Brackett barked a barrage of orders as the group worked furiously to save John’s life.

The two paramedics wasted no time getting down the ladder.  Roy moved as close to John as possible, without getting in the way, as he watched the activity before him.  He desperately had to fight the urge to jump in and help; to have his hands busy in some small way that would help keep his “brother” alive.

He heard Brackett yell “There’s no time…we need to do a needle thoracostomy now or we are gonna lose him.  Carol, clean the area with Povidine.  Mike…get me a 14 gauge intravenous cannula.”

 Roy watched with his stomach in his throat as Brackett inserted the needle at a 90% angle to the chest wall, into the second intercostal space…just above John’s third rib. The doctor continued advancing the needle until he heard the sound he was waiting for…a rush of air.  He carefully removed the needle leaving the cannula in to aspirate the trapped air.  They taped it in place and Brackett looked up.  “Ok, let’s move!”

                                                                                        ***           ***

Captain Stanley watched as Gage was lowered to the waiting group below.  He expected to see the young man moved immediately towards the ER.  His heart sank when the medical team remained stationary and he saw the frenzied activity taking place around him.  He knew that meant John was probably in critical condition. Hank finally pulled his eyes away and turned and looked at Dixie.

“Are you positive you are ok,” he asked with concern.

“Yes.  Thanks to Joh…” she couldn’t bring herself to say his name.  “I…I just have some scrapes and a few bumps,” she answered, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Vince?”

The black officer was in excruciating pain.  He looked at Captain Stanley and managed a nod.

“I’ll be alright Hank. I am so…sorry. I couldn’t hang on any longer,” he managed to utter softly.

The Captain walked over to the young man and put his hand on his shoulder. “Vince, you have nothing to be sorry for.  You did everything you possibly could.”  He gave the officer a sad smile before turning to his men.

“Mike…Marco,” he called.  “Please help Ms. McCall and Vince downstairs to the ER, and see they get into the hands of one of the doctors immediately,” he ordered. “Chet, gather up Gage’s line and put it on my seat in the rig…then go to the ER. I will be down in a few minutes.”

“Ok Cap,” the men answered despondently. They were feeling just as guilty as Vince, and hesitant about going downstairs…not wanting to hear the news that would confirm their worst fears.

“Caldwell,” Stanley beckoned “come here.” The young man looked over at the rest of the crew making their way through the door.

Ryan Caldwell wished he could go back in time and do things differently. 

It was his fault the John was injured; quite probably dead. He walked over to his superior and slowly brought his eyes up to meet his Captain’s glare.

“Tell me exactly what happened up here,” Stanley asked in an authoritative voice.  He knew the young man was probably beating himself up already over the incident.  But his actions, at least the one that Stanley knew of, caused a fellow firefighter to become critically injured and could have killed a civilian.

“Cap, this…this is my fault. Gage told me I needed to stay focused and alert…that I needed to get my head in the game.  I…I panicked. I couldn’t believe what he was going to do!! When Ms McCall lost her balance and Gage reached out for her…I I didn’t give him the slack…I pulled back to soon thinking he was going to fall too. Johnny couldn’t reach her and she started fall backwards. He…he had to yell at me to let go of the line. He told me before I needed to be ready...and what he wanted me to do.”

“Who tied off Gage’s line,” Hank inquired…already knowing the answer.

“I did Sir.”

“What kind of a knot did you use to secure his line?”

“Ummm…I used a…a… Bowline Captain.”

“A Bowline?”

“Ah…yes sir.”

“Caldwell, a Bowline will not slip when weight is applied to the other end.  In fact, the exact opposite occurs.  The knot will tighten up…which is not what happened in this case.

Ryan paused looking at his Captain…the realization of what he was saying finally registering.

“Gage’s line was not defective…he fell because the knot came untied,” the captain replied.

“Caldwell, did you double check to make sure that tie off was done correctly and secure?”

“Uh…nnno no sir. I… didn’t. ”

“How long do you think it would have taken you to do that,” Stanley asked trying to control his temper.

“About fifteen to twenty seconds…sir,” Ryan answered with his head was down.  He couldn’t bring himself to look at the man before him in the eyes.

“Caldwell, I am fully aware that this was an intense and rapidly evolving situation. However, do you believe that you had those seconds available to CONFIRM that Gage’s line was in fact tied off correctly and secure?”

The answer almost made Ryan sick to his stomach. He thought back to Johnny in the elevator putting on his belt and attaching the rope.  He had taken the time to double check his work…even testing it to make sure it was secure.

“Yes Captain…I did have the time,” he choked out.

“Caldwell, what skills do you posses that make you qualified to be a rescue man?”

“Captain Stanley…Sir, I uh…have never been through the rescue training…only the basics we received at the academy.”

“Yes,” the Captain replied with a tone of irritation in his voice, “I found that out myself about thirty minutes ago. Do you feel that you posses the knowledge and skill it takes to perform high risk rescues?”

“No Sir…I don’t” the young man replied.

“I don’t either.”

“Had I known, you never would have been permitted to act in that capacity and risk the lives of the public, fellow firefighters…or John Gage.”

“I will be placing a call to Headquarters when we return to the station and this matter will be fully investigated.”

Captain Stanley turned and made his way downstairs to see how severely injured John Gage was…or if his paramedic was even was still alive.

Hank stepped out of the elevator and his eyes took in the scene before him.  The hallway outside Treatment room three was crowded with firemen from both his station and 36’s.  The men were either pacing back and forth near the door, or leaning with their backs against the wall.  There was little doubt in his mind where John Gage was at.  One of the younger nurses was trying desperately to get the group to disperse to the staff lounge to wait. 

The men were having none of it.

The Captain scanned the group but did not see the familiar blond haired paramedic.  He assumed Brackett had permitted Roy to be by John’s side.  He couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad sign.  As he moved forward to join the crowd, Mike Stoker noticed his boss and met him half way.

“How’s John?” Hank asked slowly.

“Pretty bad Cap…Roy is in there with him now. According to him…Johnny still wasn’t breathing on his own, and whatever Brackett did to him out in the lot didn’t completely fix the problem.  He said something about not only air causing the pressure, but blood collecting in there too? I don’t know…Roy seemed really concerned.  The guys say he was also bleeding from the nose…so they don’t know how severe a head injury he may have on top of whatever else they find…” Mike’s voice trailed off.

The two linemen walked over to join their crewmates and noticed Caldwell standing behind their Captain…off to the side.  The young man had a devastated look upon his face…yet he made no attempts to come and join them.

The Hispanic lineman could only image how the junior paramedic must be feeling and tried to offer some words of encouragement before Hank was able to stop him.

“Ryan?” Listen, we know Gage…and he is a fighter.  He is gonna pull through this…”

Marco glanced over at his Captain’s face and received a stern look and a very slight shake of his head. The men were confused. It was not like their superior to hold back support and encouragement to his crew at a time like this.

 Hank Stanley was a devoted Captain and the commitment he had to his men was unquestioned.  Their safety and well-being was paramount, and a responsibility he did not take lightly.  Hank knew of Gage and DeSoto’s allegiance to one another…to make sure the other made it home at the end of the day.  It was the same personal commitment he carried with him for his entire crew.

It was that very thing which he was now struggling with… He had failed John Gage.

Hank regretted that he had not hounded HQ for Caldwell’s file every damn day until he got it in his hands.  He took pride in the fact that he made a point of getting to know everything he could about the people that worked for him.  He didn’t like surprises.  Hank knew that he had let his priorities shift…and had been preoccupied with getting DeSoto back to 51’s instead of fully focusing where his attention should have been; on the new paramedic assigned to his crew.

 It was a hard lesson to learn…and he prayed that John didn’t pay the ultimate price for his oversight.

The Captain’s further thoughts on the matter were halted as his attention was drawn to the end of the hallway, and the two Chief’s walking towards them.

“Hank?” McConnikee questioned as soon as they were close enough.

Before the Captain had a chance to respond, Ryan Caldwell lifted his head and stared at the group before him.

“It was my fault,” he blurted out.

“Caldwell! …now is NOT the time,” Hank said in a stern voice.

All eyes turned to the young man in surprise.

Ryan, ignoring his captain, continued “Ms. McCall never would have fallen if I had given Gage the slack he needed when she first lost her balance. He was forced to jump off the ledge to save her. Then…I…I didn’t… take the time…I went to fast…didn’t pay attention to what I was doing,” he shot out rapidly. 

The group continued to stare in shock…not saying a word.

The young man faltered for a moment, “The line didn’t fail Gage…I did.  The knot came undone …I didn’t tie it off properly…and never checked it.”

Chief Sorenson was the first to speak.

“Caldwell, I will meet with you and your Captain when we are finished here. Go and wait for us in the staff lounge.” The young man nodded and started to walk away.  He stopped and looked back, “I…am so sorry.  I never meant for anything like this to happen.” He then walked quickly away and pushed open the door, disappearing inside.

Sorenson turned and addressed the group, “For the rest of you, this incident is officially under investigation, and you are all being given direct orders to refrain from discussing this matter in ANY capacity whatsoever.  Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir,” the men responded.

McConnikee turned to the Captain once again…

“Hank?” he repeated.

“We’re waiting to hear…”

“You mean…he’s alive? He survived that fall?” McConnikee asked in utter disbelief.

“Yes, he is alive,” came another voice. 

The firemen turned and saw Dr. Brackett standing before them with Roy at his side.

“Yea, no thanks to us,” Chet muttered…The other men nodded in agreement.

“Dr. Brackett,” McConnikee replied, “no one could fall that far, land on a concrete overhang, and SURVIVE. How is that even possible?”

“Normally I would agree with you Chief, but not this time… And Chet, your wrong,” the doctor replied.

“Wrong….what do you mean wrong? We had to STAND there and watch Gage’s runaway line.  We were committed to Ms. McCall until we had her topside,” Chet explained. It was too late by the time we were free.

“That’s where you are wrong,” the doctor said. “John Gage is alive because of all of you…his crewmates…his friends.”

“This incident happened over the course of seconds….SECONDS,” the doctor stressed the word. “I was watching…Dixie was being pulled back up and almost to the ledge when we saw John start to fall.”

“You guys got hands on his line didn’t you?” the doctor asked with a knowing look.

The men nodded… “but it was too late…we couldn’t stop it,” Marco stated.

 No, you weren’t able to STOP it…but you did slow it down… I could tell.   Had John Gage hit that overhang full force, he would have died on impact. You guys refused to give up and those few seconds of determination and teamwork… saved his life.

“Doc, how bad is he? Is he gonna make it?” Hank inquired.

The doctor sighed. “He took a hard hit to the right side of his body…his ribs, chest, and head. He has a tension pneumothorax accompanied by a hemothorax…which means he has air and blood filling the pleural space…the area between the lung and the chest wall. The pressure continues to build and it compresses the other lung… and eventually the heart. I inserted a needle to release the air as soon Roy got him off the ledge…but it wasn’t enough.  We had to insert another one in the ER.  We believe the broken ribs also lacerated his lung and that is where the blood is coming from.  We are waiting on the films to see what else may be going on.  He had blood coming out his nose, but I am pretty confident that is because he broke it when his face hit the overhang.  There was no sign of blood or fluid in his ears…so that is a positive. Next step is to get him upstairs and get a chest tube in place.  He is still not breathing on his own…so he is on a ventilator. I know it sounds bad…but we will do everything possible to pull him through this... I promise.”

He put his hand on Hank’s shoulder giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“I also want to thank you guys… for all you did to save Dixie,” the doctor he said with heartfelt sincerity.

“It wasn’t us Doc,” Marco said “It was John.”

“You all worked together as a team to save her… And I will thank John personally when I get that young man back on his feet,” he stated with a confident voice.

Brackett’s eyes scanned the group of firemen before him. Generally speaking, he was not a man of many words when it came to expressing his feelings. But in this case, he felt it was both appropriate and necessary.

 “I spend a lot of time each day at the base station and hear the LA County radio dispatch the calls you guys handle day in and day out.  Fires, building collapses, accidents, cave-ins…the list goes on.  And I always believed I had a pretty good understanding of what you guys go through.  Then, I experience something like this… first hand... And realize I can’t even begin to comprehend what it’s like to be in your shoes. I can only tell you how fortunate we are as citizens that there people out there like you guys; who are willing to put their lives on the line…regardless of the dangerous situations you are forced to deal with.   I have a profound appreciation, and the utmost respect for the work you all do…and I just wanted you to know that.”

The group of firemen looked back at the man and gave him a thankful smile in response.

The doctor cleared his throat, “Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me…I need to check in on Dixie…and then get back to review John’s x-rays and get that boy up into surgery. He looked at the Captain. “If you would like, my office is at your disposal if you need a quiet place without any disruptions.”

“Dr. Brackett, I appreciate that very much…and thank you...for everything.” Hank replied.

The doctor smiled and nodded before he turned and headed for treatment room two.  He pushed the door open and saw Dixie lying on the table.  Joe Early had just finished cleaning up some abrasions on her arms, and was taping a dressing in place. The two looked over at him… concern clearly etched on their faces. 

“Kel?” Dixie questioned in a voice barely above a whisper… “Please tell me he isn’t dead…please?”

“No Dix, he is alive… but in serious condition.”

Joe and Dixie breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“I can only stay a few minutes…but I needed to…check on you and make sure you were ok,” the doctor replied.

“Kel,” Joe interjected, “she is fine.  Just some minor bumps and scratches, but she is going to have to take it easy for a few days.”  He gave the doctor a look indicating the emotional damage was far worse than the physical.

Kelly Brackett nodded to his colleague indicating he understood.

“Dix,” the older doctor said patting her arm, “you stay here and rest and I will be back soon. I am going to check on Officer Howard…he sustained some pretty severe rope burns to his hands.”

“Ok,” she stated as she watched the older man exit the door.  Her eyes then shifted to the dark haired doctor. 

Kelly Brackett moved to the side of the table and he automatically began conducting his own assessment.  It was then he noticed the very faint superficial cut on Dixie’s neck…right where the scalpel had been.  He felt his stomach turn at the memory…and the thought that he could have lost her.  His dark eyes moved to her face and he stared into her beautiful blue eyes…They were brimming with tears.  He reached up to gently cradle her face in his hands…and then lowered his head, bringing his lips to meet with hers. She let out a soft whimper…and then was kissing him back.  His hands moved from her face and slowly began to move up her back before their arms enclosed around one another in a tight embrace… a feeling of warmth and comfort flooding their bodies.

It had been a long time.

Hank looked at Sorenson and McConnikee.  “I would like to talk privately for a moment with both of you before meeting with Caldwell, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course Hank…that is probably a good idea,” Sorenson responded.

“Guys,” Stanley called to his men, “we will be in Brackett’s office.  I want to be notified immediately of any changes in John’s condition.”

“You got it Cap,” Mike answered for the group.

The three men made their way down the hallway.  They noted the Hospital Administrator had managed to keep the press at bay outside the hospital, but they were getting antsy and wanted information.  The man was desperately searching for Brackett.  He wanted to verify the events with the doctor before anything details were given to the press.

The men continued on and reached the office door and stepped inside. They each took a seat and Hank began.

“I just received Ryan Caldwell’s file this morning…actually right before this call came out.  It wasn’t until that point, and a phone call verification that I found out Caldwell... has never been trained as a rescue man. I wanted to know…if either of you were aware of that?” the captain asked point blank.

The two men looked at each other, as if the answer would be written on the other’s face.

“No…I was not aware of that Hank. I assumed he had been,” McConnikee answered slowly.

“Neither was I,” Sorenson replied a note of discomfort in his voice. “I had heard some talk from various Captains’s that he was not as proficient at rescues as others…but, no…I didn’t check.  I made that assumption as well.”

“It would appear that we have a much bigger issue to address at the Command level, Sorenson replied looking at McConnikee, “before trying to make improvements on a program that has already been running with great success.”

“Agreed,” McConnikee stated firmly.

Hank left the room and returned a few moments later with Caldwell following behind him; the young man was a basket case. He looked up into the faces of the three men before him.

“There are no words I can say that could possibly convey how terrible I feel right now. I truly never meant for anyone to get hurt…I thought I could watch and learn from Johnny, but now realize that was foolish and irresponsible. I was so impressed with his skills as a paramedic and rescue man from watching him whenever my station was assigned calls with all of you. To be honest, I was beyond ecstatic when I was told I would be partnering with him…and now, my actions may have cost him his life. I love being a paramedic…it became a dream of mine when I first heard of the program and became a fireman…and now…” The young man averted his eyes as he choked out his next words.

“My…resignation will be on Captain Stanley’s desk when I return to the station.”

“Caldwell,” Sorenson began, “This matter is extremely serious and we are going to take the time to complete a fair and thorough investigation.  You are being placed on Administrative leave while this investigation is being conducted.  There is more here than meets the eye and I intend to have all the facts reviewed before any disciplinary action is carried out.   You will report to Headquarters tomorrow afternoon at 1300 hours to discuss this matter in further detail…is that understood?”

“Yes sir.”

“And I am advising you that this investigation is confidential and you are ordered not to discuss it with anyone, except legal counsel, if you so choose.”

“Yes sir,” he said again, “I understand.”

“You are dismissed.”

The young man turned and walked out the door.  Sorenson and McConnikee looked at Hank.  

“We have our work cut out for us for the remainder of the day…and then some,” McConnikee exclaimed. 

“Yes, Hank replied knowingly, “I will complete a written report of this and the other MVA incident and forward it to you in the next twenty-four hours.  Let me know if there is anything further you need from me or my men.  I know you will probably want to speak with John…when he is able,” Hank finished. 

There was a knock on the door and Hank answered, “Come in.”

Roy opened the door and stepped inside, “Cap,” he said, as the other men listened in, “Johnny was brought upstairs a few minutes ago. The x-ray’s came back and he has three broken ribs and a depressed skull fracture. They are going to run some further tests…a CT scan and an EEG…but the Doc wants to get a chest tube in him and get that whole situation under control first. He is going to have some really deep bruising on most of his right side…and he is going to have one hell of a sore back, but Brackett, overall, is amazed he isn’t in worse shape.”

Captain Stanley nodded…so we are still playing the waiting game…he is not out of the woods yet?”

“Officially…no, but Brackett is cautiously optimistic.”

“Alright…I am going to have to get on the phone and find a couple of paramedics to replace Caldwell and Gage. Did you talk to Miller?” Hank questioned.  He knew Roy would not want to leave his friend’s side…but trying to get him replaced in addition to the other two was going to be tricky.

Roy looked dejected, “Captain Miller has put us all back in service.  He said the squad can stay available from Rampart…and he is going to try and see if he can find someone one to finish my shift…” his voice trailed off. 

“Hank,” Sorenson stated as the two men started for the door, we will be in touch.  Please keep us apprised of Gage’s condition...regardless of the hour.  I want to know.”

“Yes sir, thank you…I will do that.”

The Captain turned to continue his conversation with Roy.

“I already called Joanne and she brought the kids to the neighbors and is on her way down.  At least he will have someone here in case…I can’t be with him.” Roy said with obvious distress in his voice.

“Ok Roy, I know you want to be here with John…I will see what I can do,” he said as he picked up the phone and started dialing.                                                                                      

                                                                             ***            ***

An hour and a half later, John was wheeled into the ICU and moved into a bed.  Dr. Brackett was personally overseeing the process and made sure the young man was settled. The nurse took his vitals again before leaving, only after the doctor gave her explicit directions for his care. 

Kel Brackett stared down at his patient… The dark haired paramedic looked like he had been to hell and back.

“John,” the doctor says quietly to the unconscious man, “I will never be able to tell you how grateful I am for what you did for Dixie.  There are not many people, when faced with the choice you had to make, that would have done what you did…without a second thought for your own life.”

Brackett lightly ruffled the dark unruly hair before he left the room in search of the DeSoto’s. He located them just outside the doors of the ICU…pacing up and down the hallway.

“How is he? Can we see him?” they both said in a rush as soon as the spotted him.

“Take it easy you two…he is holding his own and yes, you can see him in a minute.  We got the results from the CT scan and the EEG and they both look good. There is no sign of intracranial pressure or damage to his brain…but he has a pretty severe concussion. The chest tube is in and there weren’t any further complications.  We need to get him stabilized and breathing on his own so we can get him off the ventilator. 

“Thank God…” Jo said, turning into her husband as his arms wrapped around her in relief.

 I am going to warn you though,” the doctor said as his eyes shifted to Joanne, “he looks…pretty bad.”

The young woman nodded, “Roy already told me…I don’t care…please, can we see him now?” she asked impatiently.

“OK…come on,” he said to the anxious couple.

Despite both the warnings she received, Joanne couldn’t help but cringe at the sight of the young man.   His right side sported a massive bruise and the tube that was inserted had a steady flow of fluid draining into a canister next to his bed.

But his face…

Joanne walked up and placed a gentle kiss on his left cheek, which was pretty much the only spot on his face that wasn’t injured. She pulled back and took a closer look at him.  There was a big bump on the right side of his forehead, multiple abrasions on the right side of his face, his nose was swollen and discolored, and he had two black eyes.  Her heart broke at the sight of him. 

Roy came up behind her and for a moment neither one of them could say anything.  The only sound in the room was the ventilator doing its job.

Roy gave his wife an encouraging squeeze and stepped around her pulling up a chair. He sat down and took John’s hand.

“Junior...you are going to be ok…you hear me? You are pretty banged up…but you are going to fine.”

Roy stared down at his unresponsive friend and then back at his wife.  He was encouraged by the doctor’s words, but still…he knew it was going to be a long night.

                                                                                      ***              ***

The light was just beginning to creep in through the closed blinds as Kel Brackett pushed open the door to Johnny’s room the following morning.  Roy had fallen asleep in the chair, but immediately awoke as the doctor entered. 

“Morning Roy,” he said in a hushed tone.

“Morning Doc,” Roy responded trying to stifle a yawn.

“I stopped in at the nurse’s station and they said John was moving around a little bit last night and is trying to breathe on his own…so that is encouraging.”

As he spoke, the dark haired paramedic stirred again. Both men went to his side…

“Johnny?” Kel said “Can you hear me?”

They saw the eyes moving beneath the lids…but they remained closed.

“He’s trying,” Roy stated.

A few moments later the chocolate brown eyes fluttered opened, and John gazed tiredly at the men standing over him.

“That a boy,” Kel exclaimed.

Roy smiled down at his friend… “Welcome back junior…you scared the crap out of us…again.”

                                                                    ***           ***

Hank Stanley looked up from the paper he was reading and glanced at his watch; it was 4:30pm…almost thirty hours had passed since the accident.  He knew Chief McConnikee had indicated he wanted to check on John as well as bring the Captain up to speed on the status of the Investigation.  The dark haired paramedic stirred and let out a soft moan, immediately drawing his captain’s attention.  Hank was relieved that they had been able to remove the ventilator that morning…and then transfer him into a regular room.  They knew John was in a lot of pain and feeling the side effects of the concussion he had, which meant dizziness, nausea…and vomiting.

Brackett was trying to prevent the later at all cost by keeping him on a healthy dose of compazine.  The last thing he needed was the young man wrenching violently and risking further injury from his broken ribs.

There was a knock at the hospital room door and it slowly opened as McConnikee entered.

“Hi Chief,” Hank replied “Come on in.”

McConnikee nodded towards the young man in the bed. “How is he doing?”

“A lot better…he is still pretty out of it and in some tremendous pain…but he is moving in the right direction,” Hank said confidently.

“That’s great news,” McConnikee replied. “Where’s DeSoto? I thought it would take heaven and earth to get him to leave…his partner’s side.

“He left for awhile to go get something to eat.”

McConnikee quietly lifted the other chair and moved it closer to his captain before sitting down; the man looked exhausted.

Hank had a momentary look of confusion on his face before he got it.

Does that mean what I think it means,” he asked slowly, not wanting to assume anything at this point.  He believed THAT lesson had been learned.

McConnikee grinned, “Yes Hank…it means what you think.  That is part of what I wanted to update you on.  DeSoto is coming back to 51’s as the senior paramedic to be partnered with Gage… Unless you think John here is going to balk at being “demoted” back down to a junior status.

Hank laughed, “Those two work so well together, seniority is kind of a non issue…They are unified team. The only problem may be the squad.  I think John has come to like “being in the driver’s seat” in the literal sense…and may not like being relegated back to riding shot gun.”

 “I have no doubt the two of them will work it out,” McConnikee said with a smile.

Hank nodded his agreement and then looked at his Chief.

“Thank you,” he said in a serious voice.

“You really have nothing to thank me for Hank.  What you said before at our first meeting was right on target.”

“Hank’s mind was trying to quickly play back the conversation that took place, and which part of his response the man before him was keying in on.”

The Chief knew what Hank was doing and decided to help him out; as his eyes shifted over to the injured paramedic he quoted his captain’s words,

“Sometimes the anticipated benefits we expect to receive from a decision end up not being worth the price that had to be paid.”

At that moment the door opened and Roy stepped inside… Seeing the Chief and Stanley talking he stopped short.

“It’s ok Roy…come on in,” McConnikee replied. “I just wanted to personally check in on Gage, and also fill your Captain in on a few things.”

Roy had quickly picked up on the “your captain” comment within the Chief’s response, and his eyes darted quickly to Stanley for confirmation.

Hank smiled broadly and nodded his head.

Roy felt like an incredible weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  He had been greatly relieved that Johnny was going to be ok…but he didn’t know if the latest events would change the status of their partnership.  That, having now been answered, allowed him to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

“Hank, there are still some things I would like to fill you in on…and since DeSoto is back,  how about we let this boy get some rest and I will buy you dinner in the cafeteria?”

Roy entered into the room as McConnikee got up and went over to stand at the side of Johnny’s bed.  The young man was moving around and still in a semi-conscious state. 

“Get better quickly son, “he said “We need you back in that squad with DeSoto.”

 John, mumbled out “ itsa hhair-brainnn… supid-azz iideaah….Mckee es crazee.”

What did he say? McConnikee asked, completely perplexed by the incoherent words.

Roy hurried to John’s side as he can see his captain trying to make sense out of the slur of words. They may not have understood the jargon, but he knew exactly what his young friend was talking about. John had chosen the wrong time, as usual, to unknowingly shoot his mouth off.

“Ahh, nothing Chief,” Roy interjected quickly. “Must be the meds…he is pretty out of it…not making any sense.  I think your right and he needs to get ahh…some rest.  I am gonna give the nurse a call.”

Hank’s eyes rose questioningly at his senior paramedic.  Just what is going through Gages mind?  Then he wisely decided that he was better off not knowing; and that went for McConnikee as well.

“Hey Chief,” Hank stated loudly trying redirect the man’s attention, “Now that you mention it, I am getting pretty hungry…food sounds like a great idea.  Roy, we will be in the cafeteria…I will stop back up when we are through and check in before heading home.”

“Ok cap,” Roy answered, giving him a relieved look, as the two men made their way out of the room.

The blond haired paramedic peered down at his partner with a mixed look of aggravation and amusement.

“Junior, I swear…there is never a dull moment when you are around.  And I hope that is for a very…VERY long time.”

The young man’s eyes slowly opened and he blinked several times as he recognized the person standing next to him.”

“Heyy Rooy,” he said weakly, trying to keep his head still. It felt like it was going to explode at any second.

“Hey partner,” Roy replied with a grin.

John looked at him confused.  He was already having enough difficulty keeping his thoughts straight…but he did remember that Roy was no longer his partner.

“…nott pardners,” he managed to get out.

“Yes we are.  McConnikee was just here and made it official…I am back at 51’s.  However, you almost ruined that by opening that big mouth of yours,” Roy told him.

“Hoow?” he asked, referring to both Roy’s transfer back and what he could have possibly said to almost ruin it.

“Never mind that now,” Roy said in a reassuring voice.  He could tell his friend was not up for it and needed to rest.  He reached for the call button to summon the nurse.

“Dixeee?”

Roy saw the look of concern on his partner’s face. “Johnny, don’t worry…Dixie is just fine.  She was up to see you this morning for a few minutes…she will be back when you are feeling better.”

“And… we will have plenty of time to talk about everything else when you’re at my house recuperating, which hopefully will be in a few days.”

John gave a weak version of his famous grin as he carefully nodded his head before the brown eyes drifted shut.

Hank Stanley sat in the hospital cafeteria eating a turkey sandwich and listening intently to his chief’s run down of information they had uncovered in the last day and a half.

“Hank,” McConnikee stated “Sorenson and I…and half a dozen other people have been looking into this matter and we have discovered some major oversights in procedural methods.”  He took a sip of his water and put the glass down before continuing.

“When the paramedic program started, we recruited strictly our rescue personal for this medical training.  It made perfect sense…and actually still does.  These are the guys who have first contact with anyone requiring immediate medical care.  We have seen some of the dangerous locations the paramedics have rendered care to their patients, getting them stabilized first, even before finishing the rescue. Once the paramedic bill was passed, the road to recruitment was a lot easier.  Those men who were willing to take the chance on this program paved the way for everyone else.”

“For the first year and a half, we had a steady flow of classes to fill all of the paramedic positions that were now available throughout the county at the various stations. Then, when the need was met, we backed off on holding any more classes.  Most of the men, with all time and effort they put into becoming paramedics, were content with what they were doing…like Gage and DeSoto. This past year or so, we have seen an increase in many of them getting promoted…and a few have left the program for a variety of other reasons. It was a no brainer…it was time to start running some more classes.  The problem was, specific criteria was never addressed making it mandatory…or not, for someone wanting to become a paramedic to already be trained as a rescue man.  It was just assumed…because they were the only people to apply before.  There are now some men entering into the fire service having their sights set on eventually becoming a paramedic.

“We have identified several men, Caldwell was one of them, that is a certified paramedic…and a damn good one at that…but did not go through to be trained first as a rescue man.”

Hank had listened with interest as the Chief explained.

“So what has HQ decided to do?” Hank inquired.

“We are carefully considering a few options,” McConnikee answered.

“We can mandate that all fireman wanting to go through the paramedic program first be trained in rescue…and have been in that position for a period of one year before being allowed to move forward and apply.  As I mentioned earlier…it makes logical sense. The problem with that, McConnikee acknowledged, “Is that not everyone wants…or CAN do rescues. So we risk missing out on some potentially excellent paramedics…and that doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Another option is to allow firemen, after their probation period is up, to apply for the paramedic program without going through rescue training.  At the larger stations, we currently have men that had no desire to become paramedics and are strictly doing fires and rescues.  We would put the paramedics at those stations.  If they filled in at someplace else, or got transferred, there would have to be some checks and balances in places to make sure we don’t have a repeat of what occurred with Caldwell.”

“This,” he added, “brought to light a couple of other issues. First off, we unanimously agreed that newly trained personnel should not be bounced around from station to station.  It is not good for them, the citizens, or the Department.  They need to be under a watchful eye of a good crew and moreover, a captain who is going to monitor their progress and document their performance.  It seems many captains do not take your approach Hank, in demanding to review a new crewmember’s file; especially if they are only temporary. That is going to change,” McConnikee stated firmly.

Hank nodded his head…he liked what he was hearing so far.

“So what about Caldwell… and where does he fit in with all of this?”

“Ryan Caldwell was fully aware that he was not trained as a rescue man, and did not bring that to anyone’s attention; which he will have to answer for.  Having said that, I will readily admit that the blame does not fall solely on his shoulders…We failed that young man as well, and need to accept responsibility for our part in this.

“Hank, we went about this “evaluation process” the wrong way.  We needed to start from the TOP and make sure our policy and procedures were reviewed and updated before working our way down…not the other way around. We will be forming some committees to get feedback and insight from others in the Department before any policy changes or decisions are made.  I am hoping that you, as well as Gage and DeSoto, would be willing to participate. We would welcome any input or ideas the three of you may have.”

“I would be happy too Chief… and I’m sure both Gage and Desoto would be more than willing to help out in that capacity as well.

“Excellent… we still have a lot more work to do, but I feel we are making some headway.  Chief Houtz has been updated on everything so far, and is on board with the next steps to be taken.”

“Getting back to Caldwell…” the Chief hesitated… “His future with the Department is still to be determined. The incidents were significant, and absolutely grounds for termination, however there were definitely some extenuating circumstances that must be considered.  We are working to correct the problem…but that doesn’t change what happened.  Chief Houts wants us to talk to Gage…since he was the one who was on the receiving end of Caldwell’s negligence.”

“Chief…John will give you his honest opinion on Caldwell’s performance, as a fireman, paramedic, and his ability to do rescues.  I would hope the Department would not put the burden of whether or not to terminate Caldwell on John’s shoulders.  I can’t speak for him, but knowing him as I do, he would not want to lose a talented young paramedic.  But at the same time, if he feels Ryan is a risk to others, he won’t beat around the bush…he will tell you straight out.”

“Point well taken…” the chief acknowledged. 

“Ok Hank, I need to get back to Headquarters,” McConnikee stated as he began to gather up his tray. “I still have a lot of work to get done before I call it a day.”

“Right Chief…thanks for dinner and the information.”

The two separated and Hank proceeded back to John’s room to check on the young man as promised before heading home.

                                                                                       ***              ***

The following morning John woke up and was relieved when Brackett told him they could finally remove the chest tube. He still had a killer headache and felt like he had been run over by steamroller, but he wasn’t about to complain.  Roy had called and said he would be by later in the morning along with Joanne for a visit. His stomach was still a little on the tender side…but the compazine had, so far, kept the vomiting in check. He was just about to close his eyes and take a nap when he heard the door slowly open and a blond head peered around the edge.

John smiled, “Hiya Dixie,” he said.

She smiled back and pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped inside. 

“You up for a little company…or do you want me to come back later?” she asked. 

“I am glad you stopped by…of course I want to see you.”

He looked at her with gentle eyes…remembering.

 “Are you ok,” he asked with real concern.

“Am I ok?” she asked in disbelief, “Don’t you think I should be asking you that question?”

The young paramedic could only imagine the emotional aftermath his favorite nurse must be dealing with. 

“You know what I mean.”

Dixie walked over and stood next to his bed; her hand reached out and gently touched his face.

“Yes,” she answered… “I know what you mean.  I am doing ok…having some nightmares, but I am told that is to be expected. ”

“How about you?” she asked.

“I hurt…everywhere.  As far as the fall…thankfully, I can’t remember anything about it which suits me just fine,” he answered.

“Johnny…I don’t even know where to begin to thank you…” the pretty nurse started to say; fighting to keep the tears back. She had promised herself that she would not cry.

“Dixie, you are one of a few select girls in my life that are very special to me. You don’t have to thank me for anything…your kind of…well, like family.  And I am very protective of my family.

Dixie’s thoughts went back to the conversation John had with the man on the roof.  It wasn’t only Ed Zimmerman who had felt Johnny’s pain; it had grabbed her heart as well.

“Sweetie, I am so sorry for the loss and heartache you have been through.”

“I know and I’m sorry you had to hear all of that. It was the only way to try and reach him; he needed someone who could relate with him in his pain…and I was that person. Unfortunately… it wasn’t enough,” he said sadly.

“Johnny, there was nothing more you could have done or said that would have changed his mind.”

“I know that deep down…but still…”

Dixie looked at him and bent down to give him an affectionate kiss on the cheek. She could see the young man was in pain…and fighting to stay awake.

“Listen, I am going to go find your nurse and have her give you something for the pain.  You need to get some rest and get better fast.  The ER is not going to be the same without you…My nurses might just get some work done for a change,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

John gave her a grin before finally giving into the exhaustion and letting his eyes close.

                                                                                    ***            ***

Sorenson and McConnikee both arrived at the Hospital the day before John was scheduled to be released. A nurse was just exiting his room and held the door for them, nodding that it was ok for them to go in.

“Good afternoon John,” Sorenson said, “How are you feeling today?”

“Hi Chief Sorenson…Chief McConnikee, I am doing good, but anxious to get out of here.”

“I can imagine…we are very happy to hear that your recovery has gone so well and you will be discharged tomorrow.”

 “We were wondering,” McConnikee stated, “If you felt well enough to go over some things with us regarding Caldwell.”

“Sure Chief…not a problem. Captain Stanley already filled me in on most of the details, so I am up to speed on what happened…and why.”

“Good,” Sorenson replied, “He indicated that he was going to sit down with you and go over everything. He felt, as do we, that you deserved an explanation…and also an apology on behalf of the Department.

John nodded and looked at both men before he began.

“I understand there was some breakdown in communications regarding training that lead to this initial problem, and I am glad that it has been discovered and is being addressed. It does happen… and I know there was nothing intentional on behalf of the Department.”

“Regarding Ryan…,” John continued.

“Chief, I don’t hold any grudges against him.  He is a good guy and a hard worker. He just got in over his head and made some bad decisions in not letting his Captain’s know that he wasn’t able to perform certain aspects of this job.  For a guy with as little time on as he has, I can already tell that he is one hell of a paramedic; and I would hate to see his talents go to waste.  I do not, however, think that Ryan has the ability to be a rescue man, even if he had gone through the training. It is just something he is not cut to do…which is ok, not everyone is.”

“John,” Sorenson replied, “We appreciate your honestly and forgiving nature.  Not everyone would feel the same way after going through what you did.  Caldwell is extremely upset about what happened to you and is thinking about resigning. We are in agreement with everything you have said thus far, and do not want to lose him.  He will, of course, be given some suspension time for this incident… if he chooses to stay. We will relate to him what you have said and see if that makes a difference. We just don’t know.”

“Chief, I would be more than willing to sit down and talk with him. I think I might be able to help him work through this and reconsider.”

“If there is one thing we have learned John, it is that you are a pretty determined young man.  We have no doubt that if anyone can talk to Caldwell and get him to understand…it would be you,” McConnikee replied.

“I think my partner refers to that uh…”determination” as something a little less complimentary,” the dark haired paramedic responded with a laugh.

The two men grinned and got up to shake John’s hand before returning to headquarters. They were pleased with the outcome of their meeting with the young man and confident that everything was going to work out.

                                                                    ***                  ***                                                                   

Six weeks later...

The station tones blared loudly as the lights in the dorm room simultaneously clicked on.

“LA …Station 51…Station 10…Apartment building fire… 5110 Saratoga Blvd.  5 1 1 0 Saratoga Blvd….Cross street Lowden….Time out 0143.”

The men piled out of bed, quickly dressed, and navigated their way towards the apparatus floor. It was John Gage’s first day back from his injury leave.  He flew out the dorm, once again taking the turn to fast, and teetered precariously on one foot.  He felt hands behind him grab his shoulders, helping him regain his balance.  He turned around and looked into his crew member’s face with an appreciative grin.

“Thanks,” he said.

“No problem Johnny.  You won’t have to worry about watching your back Pal…I will always have it.”

Captain Stanley hurried past the two men, “Gage…Kelly! Let’s move it…that fire isn’t gonna put itself out you know,” he called out over his shoulder.

“Right Cap…we’re comin,” they shouted back.

Captain Stanley reached the podium and went through the all too familiar task of writing down the address and picking up the mic, giving his acknowledgement to dispatch. He handed the slip of paper to Roy before jogging quickly in front of the squad and taking his seat beside Stoker in the rig.

Hank reached for his helmet and settled it securely on his head.  He glanced quickly around him and saw all his boys were finally back in their rightful place.  As the vehicles started to roll out of the bay he felt a sudden sense of...comfort.  The last couple months had been one of many changes, adjustments, and some important lessons had been learned.

Now everything was back to …normal.  He chuckled to himself; using the definition of “normal” for his crew could be considered somewhat of an oxymoron. 

They rolled up on the scene moments later.  Hank climbed out of the rig and his men were immediately at his side ready to work.  They looked up at him with anticipation…waiting for his orders.

“Kelly, Lopez….lay duals on the south side.” The linemen nodded and took off.

“Gage, DeSoto…get in there and do a sweep getting the residents out… Start with the fourth floor and work your way down. I will have additional responding units take the other floors.”

“Got it Cap,” John replied.

The two paramedics headed to their squad to retrieve their gear.

“John…Roy?” the Captain shouted after them.

They turned around….

He knew it was unnecessary…but he needed to say it anyway, “Be careful in there…UNDERSTOOD.”

“Understood,” Roy acknowledged.

“GAGE?” the captain questioned.

John flashed him a classic grin before responding, “Ya Cap...I understand.”

THE END

 Posted to Site 05/23/13

LINKS TO PARTS 1. 2.